Confessions

Cassie in California

I only got halfway through The Grapes of Wrath. And On the Road. And Naked Lunch.

I once feigned an allergy to blueberries so I wouldn’t have to eat a blueberry muffin. I was 14 and had never even tried a blueberry.

In middle school, I had my friends “break up” with a boyfriend for me while I watched from afar. On two separate occasions.

In high school, I once didn’t have enough money to split a check three ways, and I never paid back the girl who covered me—even though I said I would.

During an interview for an internship in college, I awkwardly shook the hand of the woman who was interviewing me. And then apologized for it. Which was even more awkward.

Up until recently, I used the words “picaresque” and “picturesque” interchangeably.

Sometimes, I’m impatient with my sisters and feel guilty about it.

Sometimes, I ask for advice and don’t agree with it.

Sometimes, I’m passive aggressive because it’s easier than confrontation. But I’m working on that.

I’m worried moving to California will be more difficult than I’m capable of handling.

I’m terrified all my peers in grad school will be smarter than I am.

I’m scared I’ll finish grad school and not know what to do next.

 

I’ve forgiven myself for past mistakes. (And if I’m forgiving myself, I should forgive others, too.) I’m trusting myself to make good decisions. I’m embracing the uncertainty without allowing myself to become paralyzed by fear. There’s a lot I’m choosing to leave out of this confessional. But I feel better already. What do you need to get off your chest?

California dreamin’: Life in Los Angeles according to transplants

Today’s post is one of epic proportions, so here’s a very brief intro before we dive right in!

What do you do when you’re stepping into the unknown by moving to a state on the other side of the country and don’t know what to expect? Talk to people who have done it before you! Lucky for me, I knew a couple of rad bloggers (Rachel and Hanna) and was recently introduced to a few more (Abby, Nikki, and Esther) who were willing to answer some of my burning questions. If you dream of or plan on moving to the City of Angels one day (or if you just like to visit), read on for these successful transplants’ advice and experiences.

L.A. Q&A

What brought you to L.A. and why? Adventure, school, a job, a lover?

Hanna: Adventure, a job, and a lover! I graduated college with a job offer in L.A. that I had picked up from an internship. I’m always up for an adventure. The lover was my boss at said job (whoops).

Abby and Esther: A job!

Rachel: Part adventure, part lover. I’ve wanted to live in Los Angeles since high school, and my boyfriend wanted to pursue a career in film acting in Hollywood, so when we started dating and made that connection, I knew it was only a matter of time before we came out here. I was right!

Nikki: I actually first moved out here as part of a study “abroad” internship program at Boston University (my alma mater), so work and school! I always knew I didn’t have much of a choice to start my career anywhere else (I studied TV writing and producing in college), so it seemed like the safest transition.

Esther & Jacob

Did you roadtrip it or fly? Describe the journey getting there.

Hanna: I bought a one-way flight, and then had to have my parents help me into the car/pull over when I started dry heaving from nerves on the way to the airport, LOL.

Esther: We drove a Penske cross-country with a car tow and with our two cats. Because we had our cats, we ended up only making one stop in Oklahoma and making it to California in two days. It would have been sooner, but we hit a rough patch in New Mexico where there was a snow storm. Who knew it snowed in New Mexico!

Abby: I flew. I don’t really like being in the car (and I live in L.A., go figure) so the thought of that drive was miserable for me. That January, I was super busy with travels, family plans, work, etc. and I came to L.A. for a week to find a place to live. Found it, flew back to Raleigh, packed up all of my things and loaded them onto a moving truck. Flew to Baltimore for a few days for work and to hang with the fam before leaving. My parents dropped me off at BWI and six hours later, I landed in L.A.

Rachel: We roadtripped. Since we were both between jobs and had a good chunk of cash in our pockets, we allowed our trip to be a leisurely one; we camped in the Badlands and stayed with friends and family in Denver and Fort Collins, Colorado. It was a wonderful trip, because we didn’t have any responsibilities or many bills to pay; we just kind of floated around enjoying life. The only stressful part of our journey was the end of it: we were supposed to stay in Las Vegas on the last night, and it turned out the hotel we were supposed to stay at didn’t have secure parking (which we were promised) for our car loaded up with all of our belongings, so we ended up having to get back on the road and drive the last four hours to Los Angeles. We had started the morning in Denver, Colorado, and didn’t get in to L.A. until about 1 a.m. 16+ hours of driving. Not pretty.

Nikki: My journey was kind of in two parts. When I first came out for school, I didn’t know if I was going to end up staying after the semester so I flew out here with a couple suitcases. However, I ended up getting hired full-time at one of my internships two weeks before the program was over, so I had to very quickly find a long-term apartment, fly back to Boston for a weekend, graduate, pack a couple more suitcases and come back for work on Monday! It was kind of a crazy whirlwind, but looking back, I think I got very lucky everything worked out the way it did.

Hanna of Excelsior Lady

What was the biggest culture shock/adjustment after relocating?

Hanna: There were a million things to do and an ease with which I could do them. Growing up in such a tiny town made me totally unaware that there were such interesting things to experience in L.A.; I had to learn how to live!

Abby: Despite its reputation, L.A. is one of the most laid back places I’ve ever lived. People are super calm and relaxed, the days start later in the morning, most people are really friendly. I wasn’t expecting that.

Rachel: Definitely the traffic. I refused to drive on the freeways for almost a month after we got out here, because they were SO intimidating. Luckily, I eventually adjusted; now I’m an aggressive badass behind the wheel.

 

There are a lot of stereotypes associated with L.A. (Tons of plastic surgery, self-centered people, horrible traffic, etc.). Based on your experience, would you say they’re all true, or can you dispel some of them?

Hanna: Everyone says L.A. people are the worst, but all of the people I’m closest to here were born and raised in L.A.—they’re my favorite people in the world! They know the city like no one else. Not all the rumors are true; however, there is a lady that I see every morning walking her chihuahua in a pink stroller, and she looks like she’s had quite a lot of work done. I feel like she’s who people picture when they think of stereotypical L.A.

Rachel: The stuff about the traffic is true, but you get used to it (unless you’re in a hurry; then it’s your worst enemy). But the people are great, because almost everyone you’ll meet is a transplant from somewhere else, and everyone is here to pursue a dream, so it’s kind of like We’re All In This Together Land.

Nikki: I can’t say I haven’t met the stereotypical L.A. people—plastic surgery, self-centered, backstabbing Real Housewives types—but I can say that they are definitely in the minority. The cool part of L.A. is that a lot of people out here are also transplants from all over the place, so the majority of people I have met since moving here are actually very “un-L.A.” Also, as much as I wish I could dispel it, the traffic in L.A. really IS as bad as they say. I’ve spent the better part of two years avoiding freeways at all costs.

Abby

L.A. is a pretty spread out collection of totally different neighborhoods. What makes yours a unique and cool place to live?

Hanna: I love the west side because it’s so much cooler. We get the marine layer and a lot more clouds. It’s a great/safe area to explore on foot, too.

Esther: We like where we live because we have friends that live out here. It’s nice to be able to live, work, and play without having to deal with traffic.

Abby: West Hollywood is a really fun place to be. It’s super young, central to both the beach and the mountains, always something new to do and see. The Grove is a couple of blocks away, lots of celeb sightings—it feels very L.A. to me.

Rachel: West Hollywood is in the middle of everything! It’s near Hollywood, hiking in the hills, tons of fun shopping, movie theaters, parks, restaurants, bars, etc. Also, almost half of the population is gay men, so the gay bar scene is incredible, and everyone who lives here is super open-minded. And there’s the gay pride parade and the Halloween Carnaval…ugh, so many things. I love it here.

Nikki: The neighborhood I live in now is very quiet and full of families—it’s one of the more residential areas of L.A.—but my favorite part about it is how close it is to everything else. I also spend a lot of time in Santa Monica (which is where my office is) and Culver City (which is walking distance from my apartment!).

 

What’s your favorite bar/restaurant in your neighborhood? (And recommend a menu item!)

Hanna: Literati Cafe is practically across the street from my apartment, and on Tuesdays they have grilled cheese night: four different kinds of grilled cheese (I personally love the Fontina, rosemary & grape grilled cheese with their own special recipe for tomato soup. It tastes like HEAVEN). They also have a pretty great Bloody Mary…

Esther: So far my favorite restaurant is Cafe Verona in Mid-City West. Definitely worth the drive.

Abby: The Village Idiot is great, Eveleigh has amazing food and a cool vibe… to be honest, if you’re on Third Street you won’t find a restaurant you don’t like.  Menu items: The Village Idiot is all organic food (their meatballs are unreal) and Eveleigh has a great burger (and fabulous wine menu).

Rachel: I love Evo Kitchen, which is on Sunset Boulevard only a few blocks away from our place. They have delicious food, and it’s small with a nice ambiance, so it’s not overwhelming to go there. Their cheesy garlic bread is soooo tasty, as well as their pizza. Oh, and the parmesan cheese fries at The Counter, which is right across the street, are crack. Pure crack. Your mouth will never be the same.

Nikki: I’m going to cheat here, because I spend so much time at work that I end up out in Santa Monica far more than I do by my place! But personal favorite hangout is the Basement Tavern, which is a little kind of dive bar underneath the Victorian Hotel—the ambiance is very cool, and their happy hour is amazing!

Rachel of Existation

What’s your favorite part about living in L.A.?

Hanna: The things I’ve experienced since moving here are unreal. EVERYTHING is accessible. In a three-hour drive you can be at a painted mountain in the desert, in Mexico, or in a national forest. It doesn’t matter what you want, there is somewhere in or around this city that can supply you with it.

Esther: The FOOD. There are countless options of good food. I never feel like I have to go back to the same place twice.

Abby: The options. You can go to the beach for a day, the mountains for a day, wine tasting, surfing, to a museum, to watch a movie being filmed, sit in a live audience… the options are endless. And of course, the weather.

Nikki: I have way too many, but probably the weather, the really great Mexican food, and I’m not ashamed to admit that the proximity to Disneyland REALLY doesn’t hurt.

 

The weather has GOT to be heaven. Do you ever pinch yourself/taunt your friends and family back home when it’s 70 degrees in December?

Esther: I need to remind myself to be grateful more often. It’s funny how when you visit, everything seems sunny and amazing. When you live here, sometimes it becomes your new normal. And the one day it’s rainy, you’re thinking… I moved to L.A. for this?? Haha.

Abby: Ha! The weather is unreal. It is so beautiful and it inspires good health. You’re always wanting to be outside, whether you’re hiking, running, sitting at the beach or sitting outside for brunch. It’s amazing.

Rachel: I try really hard to hold back from taunting, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. Everyone back in Minnesota is always either complaining about how cold it is or how hot it is, and I was the same way when I lived there, but in L.A. the weather is so mild and consistent that I don’t even have to think about it (unless I’m leaning back and savoring how beautiful it is). It’s glorious.

Nikki: All the time. There is no better feeling than sending photos from Malibu beach to my sisters while they’re shoveling out the driveway back home!

 

Now that you’ve made the move and lived to tell the tale, would you have done anything differently in the uprooting process?

Hanna: Even though I left and came back, I don’t think I’d do anything differently. The people I’ve met through what I originally considered mistakes on my part (for example, taking two months to find an apartment the first time I moved) prove that everything worked out for the best.

Esther: Try to focus on the positives. I think I was so homesick and missing my friends that sometimes I was looking for negative things. Whenever there was a rude person, I would dwell on it. There’s a lot of great things about L.A., that I would have much rather spent my time enjoying L.A. rather than sulking.

Abby: I don’t think so. I probably would have spent more than seven days in L.A. two weeks before I moved, but that was part of the adventure, I guess.

Nikki: In retrospect, I think I would have made the drive instead of flying. First off, a cross-country road trip has always been on my bucket list, but more importantly I feel like I had to leave a lot of important things behind when I made the move that are still slowly finding their way out here. If I had had the opportunity (or even the knowledge I would be staying here permanently), I would have really taken my time and enjoyed the adventure of it.

Nikki of Nicol-ette

Lots of people move to L.A., but not everyone stays. Do you intend to stay permanently? Indefinitely?

Hanna: I’m going to be here for while. I love moving and change, but I might actually love L.A. more than both of those things.

Esther: We’re giving it a year, and we’ll evaluate how we feel.

Abby: My plans for now are to stay permanently.

Rachel: This is yet to be determined. Right now it’s definitely the place for me, and I’d like to say that I could live here forever, but I know that eventually I’ll want to settle down and have a family, and I’m not sure this is the best place to do that. Houses are ridiculously expensive and most of my family is far away. So we’ll see. I’m keeping an open mind about the future.

Nikki: I do love it here, but I don’t know that this is where I’m going to spend the rest of my life. I do miss the East Coast, and hope that maybe someday I’ll be in a position where maybe I can relocate to NYC or even overseas!


What advice would you give to someone (like me!) moving to L.A.?

Hanna: Don’t assume that landlords/jobs will contact YOU if they’re interested. There are a million people going after the same things that you want, and you absolutely have to be proactive to get what you want!

Esther: Find a good, core group of people that you like. They will be your support group while you are adjusting to the new city and culture.

Abby: Follow L.A. outlets on their social channels before you move (and when you get here). For example, @LAist on Twitter offers great info about what’s going on in L.A. That way you’re connected and if there is something happening that interests you, you can be there. Great way to keep your finger on the L.A. pulse and meet people!

Rachel: I would say that the most important thing to remember is that Skype and the internet are magical tools of communication, so you never have to feel TOO homesick. And always keep your sense of adventure and an open mind; settling in to a new city requires flexibility and knowing that not everything is going to be perfect. Also, if you’re stuck in traffic, chances are you will be able to see a palm tree, so find the nearest one and meditate on it instead of getting angry at the car in front of you.

Nikki: Keep an open mind about everything. A lot of people told me that L.A. was very much a love-it-or-leave-it kind of city, but like any city I think a large part of the experience is what you make of it. There are so many fun and crazy opportunities here (some obvious and some not so much) that, if you’re open to them, you can find all kinds of different reasons to love it—or at the very least not hate it—here.

 

Thanks, guys, for your amazing stories and expert advice! Do you have any questions for these L.A. ladies? Or are you an L.A. native or transplant with two cents to add? Chime in in the comments!

Interweb Finds: Strong females, Gizooglin’ yo ass & more

Loch Raven panorama

And the countdown continues. In exactly five weeks, we will be loading up the car for the cross-country trip ahead. I feel like I’ve already exhausted the use of the word “surreal” over the past several weeks. So much to do.

It’s been a little while since the last edition of Interweb Finds, so without further ado, here are some of my favorite reads from the past couple of weeks. (And in case you missed last week’s post, don’t forget to check out John’s new album.)

This collection of close-up photography of bugs is insane. You almost forget that bugs are disgusting (’cause they actually look pretty cool).

If you haven’t already seen me raving about it on Twitter, you’ve GOT to check out Gizoogle. Your blog (if you have one) will instantly become WAY funnier and more gangsta when you enter it in this ghetto-translating search engine. Here’s how Gizoogle translated a recent post of mine:

“Yes, I’m excited—elated—to be makin dis dunkadelic trip wit John. Da freshly smoked up car, biatch? I’m up in love. But these decisions we’ve made dat may seem easy as fuck n’ carefree on tha outside is straight-up tha result of a shitload of patience n’ sacrifice, n’ there’s a shitload of mad bullshiznit n’ even mo’ sacrifice up in our future ta straight-up sustain dis “California dreamin’” gamestyle we want.”

A satire reinterpretation of nice guys and the “friend zone”: Why do guys always put me in the girlfriend zone? Genius.

More female humor—How to write a strong female lead.

“Before you start, you must ask yourself this question: “Am I a male?” If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about: males are generally better at writing strong female characters. If the answer is no, then unfortunately you are a female and this might be more difficult for you. Having first-hand knowledge about what it is actually like to be female can only hurt you in this process: you might write a character that is too realistic.”

This Venice Beach house tour is PERFECTION.

Tired, outdated floral prints given new life in these melting canvases.

How to visit L.A. on the cheap from Anna at And Then We Saved. Anna also introduced readers to this awesome rewards program designed to help pay back student loans.

 

That’s all for this weekend! Exciting posts up ahead, including a Q&A with some L.A. ladies who know where all the cool places to hang are. Stay tuned!

I’m with the band

John Mancini Band Shangri-la

You know those people who seem to have endless creative talent? The ones who seem to dabble in everything and do it really well? I like to surround myself with those people in hopes that their talent will rub off on me. John is one such person. If you’ve been reading long enough, you know that my boyfriend is a musician and writer. And this musician/writer boyfriend of mine is always working on something, it seems. This week, John released his fourth album, and he did all of the songwriting, guitar & vocals, countless other instruments, and editing himself. He also enlisted the talents of a few others, and I got to be one of them.

I have always loved to sing. It’s a fun thing to do whether you do it well or not. (Though I imagine the better you are at singing, the more fun it is.) In high school, I sang and played guitar with friends in talent shows and open mic nights—always envisioning myself as a guitar goddess rockstar lady and ending up forgetting to breathe and not knowing what to do with my hands, but making it through each performance well enough. Still, I had this weird mental block when it came to singing in front of other people, especially in more intimate settings. It was one thing to do it in front of the whole school when the stage lights were blinding and I couldn’t see the audience. But in an intimate group of friends? Terrifying. To me, it was the most vulnerable way you could possibly expose yourself, and that scared the shit out of me. Because of that, I’ve always made an obnoxious point of singing really badly, really loudly. Ask my sisters. It’s my favorite way to torture them. (4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up” is my go-to tune.)

Despite not singing a whole lot (at least well) around others, John knew I had a real voice in me. And the gorgeous songs he’d written for his latest release, Shangri-la, were in need of some female harmonies, according to him. Would I sing with him? Well, I’d always secretly wanted to. Of course I would.

Shangri-la consists of 8 songs that span several of John’s songwriting years, the title track being the oldest (and one of my favorites). It’s a concept album, meaning there’s an overarching theme, and listening straight through from beginning to end is recommended for the full experience. It’s a nod to a lot of the more traditional songwriters of the past, much of the instrumentation reminding me of Tom Waits and the vocals, Bob Dylan. (Yes, I just compared my boyfriend to Bob Dylan.) Band members from earlier albums make appearances on Shangri-la, including founding JMB member Tom Haller on drums, and Jessie Firey (of the JMB side project, Ancient Americans) singing lead female vocal on “The End of All Things.” A couple of John’s talented musician friends also make guest appearances, and the lady harmonies/vocals you hear on tracks 1, 2, 3, 4, and 7 are yours truly. The coolest part of recording? Getting over myself and just having fun doing it, like you’re supposed to.

So here’s hoping more of John’s talent rubs off on me, but I can say for sure I’ve got the music bug. I miss playing guitar. I want to learn piano. And damnit, I want to sing! I may not have Beyoncé’s range (oh, Bey), but I’ve got a good tone and an ear for harmonies. The confidence part is coming slowly but surely.

If you want to check out the album, it’s available on iTunes, and the hard copy—featuring my photography as the cover art—is available at CDBaby. (Anyone else still jamming out to CDs like me?) I recommend checking out the other albums while you’re at it. Sun King is pure musical genius. If you can spare a “like,” follow John Mancini Band on Facebook for updates. Witty Title Here AND John Mancini Band are going west. And we’ll be writing and singing about it along the way.

Money matters

Sheila the Mazda2

Friday evening, I somewhat impulsively became the proud owner of a new car. The adorable manual Mazda2′s name came to me by accident in a slip of the tongue in my post-purchase shock—Sheila. Her name is Sheila. And she will be my California car.

Thankfully, I got a great deal—Sheila, brand new, cost about the same as this model costs used, thanks to an employee pricing event. Though it was a quick decision on my part (it was the last day of the sales event!), I knew I’d regret not getting this car for the price. And I was right to do it—I’m so happy to have a reliable (and, omg, CUTE) car. But with a new car comes a down payment and several years of financing, and this was the first of many blows to my bank account with this move to L.A.

John and I are embarking on an amazing journey. We’re following our dreams of living in California, I’ll be getting my master’s degree, and after four-plus years of coupledom, we’ll finally be living together. (I cannot WAIT for John to see my retainer.)

It’s pretty romantic on the surface, and I have no doubt we’re doing the right thing. But with following your dreams comes an inevitable, not-so-romantic side of things: the financial burden of doing so.

By quitting my job and moving to California, I’m giving up a certain level of stability. Though my mostly part-time income was modest, I lived at home, commuted less than 15 minutes to work, and managed to save a fair amount of money. It was the responsible thing to do, and now that I’m packing up my things for this cross-country move, I’m so glad I was patient and socked it away.

Despite all that, I know my savings will vanish way faster than it took to build them up. Aside from the car payments, we’ll have the cost of shipping out our stuff, food and lodging along the way, first month’s rent plus deposit, utilities, insurance, groceries, school (uh, big one), hopefully the occasional fun (but cheap) outing, and gas. (Luckily, Sheila is excellent on gas.) I mean, whoa. This is a lot of new financial responsibility for a girl who has had very little of it living with mom. Consider the factors that many of these costs will be up front in large sums and neither of us have secured jobs out West, and it’s a little intimidating.

Am I worried? I have my moments, of course, but not really. I think about it daily, but I don’t doubt our ability to make it work. I will not be picky in my search for flexible, part-time work because I can’t afford to be. I think that attitude will serve me well because it will keep me both humble and hard-working. I’ve been pretty comfortable over the past few years. Maybe I’ve gotten soft. L.A. will snap me out of that real fast, and I think it’s a good thing.

So I tell you these things to remain transparent. Yes, I’m excited—elated—to be making this amazing trip with John. The new car? I’m in love. But these decisions we’ve made that may seem easy and carefree on the outside are actually the result of a lot of patience and sacrifice, and there’s a lot of hard work and even more sacrifice in our future to actually sustain this “California dreamin’” lifestyle we want.

It will not be easy, but it will be totally worth it. Sheila better get ready for some drivin’.

Through the Lens: photos from May

May in photos

How do I even sum up this crazy, hectic month? And how can I even call it that knowing it’ll be tame compared to the months ahead? Mostly the crazy has just been in my head, but soon things really will be moving at high speed. As our move to California draws nearer, I’m realizing the scope of the logistics this whole thing requires. I’m trying to take it all in stride. Soon, I’ll forget the very meaning of “boredom.”

Though I didn’t take as many pictures as I would like, May was full of photo-worthy moments. Dinners out, movie nights in, girl time with the sisters, a winning Orioles game vs. the Yankees, a baby shower, and a long weekend with my college roomie helped this month speed right on by. I’m trying to soak it all up. As much anticipation as I feel, I’m never quite sure when the last time I see an old friend or drive down a certain street will be. I don’t mean that to sound melodramatic—it’s just kind of a fact. I mean, it’s not like these things will definitely be the last time ever. At this point, I’m really not thinking too far beyond the two years of grad school I’ve committed to. But then, I can’t say for certain that these won’t be the last times I do such-and-such, either. You never know where life will take you.

But enough of me trying to sound like Ferris Bueller. Pictures! A mix of film, digital, and iPhone in this batch. (Can you tell which is which?)

statue

Mount Vernon Baltimore

Great American Canyon BandOn the first Thursday of every month in the warm season, the local public radio station, WTMD, puts on a free outdoor concert. It typically features a mix of local bands and nationally touring acts (John performed there a couple summers ago!), and it attracts a huge crowd. Warm weather, free attendance, and outdoor drinking? Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?

This night turned into a bit of a drunkfest (as proven by my girly fandom talking to the awesome couple of the Great American Canyon Band), but earlier that day, I had been lamenting to John that I needed to get over my shyness as a budding photographer. When I see interesting people, I want to take their pictures but am hesitant to approach them. Well, all it took on the night of this First Thursday concert was a couple of beers, and I was happily snapping away at strangers. I found kind of a theme in my photos—men with dogs:

men with dogs

men with dogs

men with dogs

Marmaduke

Yeah. Just let that sink in for a minute. Chances are, if your heart is made of ice, it just done defrosted all over da flo’.

Mount Vernon Baltimore

Mount Vernon BaltimoreEverything got kind of hazy after that.

The night the Orioles beat the Yankees was the perfect early summer night. Though it would drop down to the low 60s later in the week, this night felt like mid-July with Natty Bohs and french fries generously seasoned with Old Bay.

Camden Yards

Camden YardsAnd back to the theme of major life changes, scenes from a picturesque baby shower at McKenzie’s farm for our friend, Rachel:

farmhouse

farmhouse

stork

baby shower

farmhouse

baby belly

Finally, I wrapped up the month by taking Justine, visiting from Long Island, around to some of the best places in Baltimore. (It was a great excuse to spend a little money before I can no longer do such a thing frivolously.) I think this might be my favorite picture from the whole month:

two heads

And with that, I leave you with wishes for a happy weekend. Now I’m off to do a little car shopping. What, you ask? Yeah. Ole Bertha was never part of the cross-country plan, but she is making it difficult to safely get around for the next few weeks. Looks like I could be taking the plunge on another car a bit earlier than I thought. This is going to be interesting. But at least I get to go on a few fun test drives.

See you in June.

It never hurts

dino

When I recorded a podcast with Peter DeWolf a couple months ago, one of the questions he asked me was about The “Lucky” Ones interview series. He asked, “Who would be some of your dream interviewees?” This was a fair question. I should’ve been able to think of at least half a dozen people on the spot. Instead, I hemmed and hawed—long enough that, thankfully, my seemingly endless umm’s and uhh’s were edited out of the recording—before blurting, “Oprah! Because she’s interviewed everybody!” Not the most original response ever, but of course I’d pee my pants if I ever got that opportunity.

Later, though, I thought about the question some more and wondered why in the hell I had such a hard time answering it. I’M A WRITER, I thought to myself. THAT SHOULD BE THE EASIEST QUESTION TO ANSWER. But of course, I didn’t have a hard time coming up with a whole long list of dream interviewees once I wasn’t on the spot and being recorded.

Who are some of the people I idolize? I can think of countless writers, musicians, and other creatives: Cheryl Strayed, John Green, Patti Smith, and, if we’re going the dead or alive route, Frank Zappa and Sylvia Plath—just to name a few. Naturally, in coming up with this list, my mind went to several of the bloggers I admire and look up to. You know, the ones who have reached rock star status and do it for a living. My most recent interviewee, The Art of Non-Conformity blogger and New York Times bestselling author Chris Guillebeau, was one such blogger that popped into my mind. I’d love to interview him, I thought.

And then I had a not-incredibly-brilliant, but actually very common-sense idea: Ask him.

So I did. Simple as that. Why in the hell hadn’t I thought of it sooner? His site has a page very conspicuously labeled “CONTACT.” I am very good at conducting short, polite, and (I think) endearing emails. The worst that could happen was that he didn’t respond, which I wouldn’t have blamed him for. He’s a popular guy and is probably swimming in emails. The next best possibility was that he would say sorry, but no. That would’ve been fine, too—cool, even. Hey, at least he took the time to say no! Instead? He responded within two hours: “Sounds fun. Let’s do it. :)

OH. OKAY. LOL. That was easy.

So before he could change his mind or jet off to another country (and after thanking him profusely), I sent him over some questions, making doubly sure there were no errant typos. And, as you can see, the result was a thoughtful and insightful Q&A session with a New York Times bestselling author. NBD. Oh, and this—this made my day:

 


THIS IS NOT AN EVERYDAY EMAIL, FOLKS. Not yet, anyway. But it got me wondering… who else could I ask to do a favor for my relatively modest (but growing!) blog? Who else might surprise me by saying “yes?

That remains to be seen, but it sure taught me a good lesson, which comes back to my post from last week: ask. You know, as in ask and ye shall receive? Again, common sense—and yet, too often we assume that someone is too busy, too popular, too important for our time, so we don’t even bother trying. It may be the case that we don’t get what we ask for—in which case we should be gracious and understanding—but we might also be pleasantly surprised.

You know what that means: Look out, Oprah. I’m coming for you.

The “Lucky” Ones – An interview with world-traveling New York Times Bestselling author Chris Guillebeau

How do I write an introduction for my next interviewee that expresses my unabashed excitement while maintaining a sense of dignified professionalism? No really, I’m asking. Because Chris Guillebeau is kind of a big deal in the world of blogging and publishing, and I’m beyond psyched that he agreed to answer a few questions for me. Read on to learn more about the non-conformist with the fully stamped passport.

Chris Guillebeau

Anguilla. Angola. Djibouti and Nauru. Recognize these names? They’re just a few of the countries The Art of Non-Conformity blogger Chris Guillebeau has checked off his list. In fact, Chris has visited every country—all 193 United Nations member states—in the world. He recently reached the end of the world (Norway, in his case) just in time to celebrate his 35th birthday. You could say he’s well traveled.

Chris is also well accomplished, but he got off to a rocky start. A high school dropout, he learned how to drive by stealing cars and spent his first job as a dishwasher throwing away the pots that were too difficult to clean. His rebellion would eventually be used for good, however. Now, Chris is a New York Times Bestselling author of The $100 Startup, a book on entrepreneurship that shows how you can make a living doing what you love for a small investment (and it profiles 1,500 people who did exactly that with success). Chris is also the author of the book based on his blog as well as multiple manifestos, and his writing has appeared in Huffington PostBusinessWeek, and USA Today. Despite all the success and reaching his goal of visiting every country in the world, one gets the impression that Chris is just getting started.

And on that exciting note—welcome, Chris!

You’ve inspired and influenced a lot of people with your unconventional lifestyle. Who are some of the people that inspired and influenced you?

I was originally inspired by a surgeon in California who left home to volunteer his services in West Africa for more than twenty years. These days, I’m inspired by many of the people in the AONC community who are all pursuing big dreams and crazy projects of their own. I host a lot of meetups and events around the world, and always go away feeling motivated to improve my work in response to what other people are doing.

The concept behind The $100 Startup is that anyone with the desire, skills, and $100 can create freedom through entrepreneurship. But, if it’s that simple, why aren’t more people out there chasing their fantasies?

There are actually a lot of people out there doing it. Working on one’s own used to be very unusual, but now it’s slowly becoming mainstream—or if not totally mainstream, at least not that abnormal.

Chris Guillebeau

Visiting numerous countries, did you always manage to immerse yourself into the local culture, or were there times when you felt like a perpetual tourist?

It’s more of a third-culture thing. I couldn’t say with integrity that I “immerse myself into the local culture” wherever I go, but I’m also not a tourist. Instead it’s more of its own sense of identity, perhaps that of a modern nomad or wanderer.

Is your idea of home, then, different from others’? Is it difficult to establish roots, or is home wherever you are?

I have a home in Portland, Oregon, and I travel the world about half of the time. I feel at home in Portland and in any number of other cities. Whenever I’m home for a while without traveling, I miss the road. After I’ve been on the road for a while, I miss life in Portland. It’s not one or the other.

Which has played a bigger role in your success—luck or persistence? And what’s your response to people who tell you how “lucky” you are to travel the world?

Both. Perhaps you could say that luck favors the persistent.

As for being “lucky” to travel, that’s another story. There are plenty of people in the world who aren’t able to travel, but most of the people who would say something like that aren’t among them. I’m able to travel because I’ve made choices that support that lifestyle.

The $100 Startup

When you’re your own boss, downtime can be hard to come by. How can entrepreneurs and self-starters avoid burnout?

You don’t burn out by working too much, you burn out by doing things you don’t want to do. I always think it’s dangerous in the long-term to continue to push yourself when you’re unmotivated. But when you’re eager and excited to do something, why would you burn out?

You stress the importance of helping others. Why is that so essential to personal growth? Is it all about karma, or something more?

It’s generally a good idea to be a nice person, but it’s not just about karma. I like the concept of “selfish generosity,” where we ourselves benefit as we seek to engage and contribute. Most of us want to be part of something bigger than ourselves. We can find that fulfilment through helping others.

Chris Guillebeau

Now that you’ve accomplished your goal of visiting every country in the world, do you have other big goals or plans in the works you can hint at?

Yep! First, just because I’m done visiting every country doesn’t mean I’m finished with travel. I love being on the road and have no plans of stopping—I hope to continue writing and traveling for many years to come. Right now I’m working on a new book about the nature of quests, not only my own but those of other people who have chosen to orient their lives around a big journey or lifelong pursuit.

Besides your own, what are some of your favorite books?

I mostly read fiction. Murakami is my favorite author, so I’ll pick A Wild Sheep Chase by him, A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving, and Girlfriend in a Coma by Douglas Coupland.

 

Chris, thank you so, so much for taking the time out of your schedule (which is packed, no doubt) to chat with me. It was a pleasure getting to know more about you, and I can’t wait to see what you do next. Have questions, comments, or general exclamations of giddiness (I know I do!) for Chris? Leave them in the comments!

The art of asking for help with Amanda Palmer

Last month, I shared the wise words of musician/writer Patti Smith, whose advice to young artists was to keep a good name and do your work because you love it (but also not to denounce success when your or others’ work reaches beyond the “cool” crowd).

Musician Amanda Palmer (with success both solo and with the band The Dresden Dolls) offers similarly thoughtful yet simple advice in her TED Talk below, which is to ask for help when you need it. Why? “You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you ask for.”

This is controversial advice coming from someone who’s been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism for this very thing. Last year, Amanda’s Kickstarter campaign requesting $100,000 to fund her album/tour became Kickstarter’s most successful ever after receiving $1.2 million. (So yeah, if you’ve never heard of her, the lady with the eyebrows has a lot of loyal fans.) So when Amanda later put out a request for local musicians to play onstage in exchange for beer and hugs, not cash, some people got pissed.

This is no longer news (and it’s not the focus of this post), but it provides a little back story for the above video. Is Amanda in the wrong here? Is she hurting or exploiting her fellow musicians and fans? And why does everybody hate Amanda Palmer so much?

Well, actually, not everybody does. The Kickstarter campaign funders, for example, are obviously touched by what Amanda offers them in return for their money. And as Amanda points out, their contributions are voluntary, sparked simply by their desire to give support to a musician whom they love when she asks for it. Another takeaway from her TED Talk: “Don’t make people pay for music… let them.”

A personal note: When John and I move to California in July, we’ll be asking for a lot of help. Luckily, we have supportive families here and friends there that we can go to when we need it. Like Ms. Palmer, I will not apologize for asking, but I will thank my helpers profusely and hopefully pay them back (or pay it forward) in some meaningful way. I also won’t hold a grudge against anyone who can’t or doesn’t want to help us. This is our move, and no one is obligated to support us. But it sure will be nice (and appreciated) if and when they do.

Controversy aside, Amanda admits it is a difficult and vulnerable thing to ask for help. It puts you in a position where others may laugh, say no, or worse, ignore you. But it also puts others in a position to do good and feel good, in which case you both benefit from the interaction. It’s not weak to ask for help. It’s brave. And I applaud Amanda Palmer for making it seem just a little less daunting. Between that and her badass music, I’ve got a total girl crush.

The dream becomes reality

I have seriously been digging music heavy on the California vibes even more than usual.

So yeah. I’m moving to California. Last night, I looked in my closet to see how many pairs of shoes I’d take and how many I could get rid of. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Packing up our lives is going to be interesting.

With our impending move just shy of two months away, there’s a lot to be done: deciding what to keep and donate, eventually selling one of our two cars (mine), searching for jobs and a place to live, GETTING THERE, and maintaining our sanity in the process. No biggie.

Last month, before I told my employers I’d be leaving (um, hi y’all!), I had a mini panic attack about all of this… while sitting at my desk at work. I miiiight’ve hyperventilated just a tad. It’s a lot of change all at once, and I haven’t always been the best at dealing with transitions. But I also crave change, so it was necessary to keep my panicky feelings in check and think rationally. Breathing exercises helped (as did sending crazy text messages to John until he talked me down).

Venice Beach

Now—and this could change any time over the next two months!—I feel the opposite of panicky. I feel oddly calm, actually. Like everything will work itself out. Everything will work itself out, because goddamnit, I’ll see to it. We’re taking on a lot of new challenges and responsibilities, and I feel more motivated than ever to take it on. I swear, my high school self would be shocked at the more confident, more ambitious older me. She’d also be psyched that I’m actually following the dream and not still just talking about it like a thing that could happen some day.

But my dream is, in fact, becoming a reality, and despite the visions of my life resembling a Free People catalog (if only!), it means I’ll need to really toughen up and get into decision-making mode. This will not be easy. But, for the most part, it will be fun. Shit. Like, a lot of fun. GOD, YOU GUYS, I’M EXCITED.

So anyway, thanks for all your wonderful comments on my last post. I was so anxious to get the news out there, and it made my insides glow knowing I had your support and shared enthusiasm.

And a note: I’m on the lookout for L.A. transplants (particularly bloggers) who’d like to join in for a collaborative Q&A post to talk about their experiences with moving to the Golden State. If you or someone you know has moved to Los Angeles from out-of-state, either leave a comment or shoot me an email at wittycassiehere (at) gmail (dot) com. Let’s make beautiful things together.

Happy Friday!