As easy as 1, Two, C

I’ve been approached a couple of times in the past few weeks for advice on how to start a blog. I must say it’s flattering to be asked for my expertise when there are few things at which I am an expert. Although if you ever need to know if the comma goes inside or outside the quotation marks, I’m your girl. (But if you don’t know the difference between “meet” and “meat,” don’t talk to me.)

Though by no means do I have a huge following, I have learned a thing or two about blogging since I started casually a couple of years ago, bought my own domain a year ago, and even branched out to other blogging ventures with a music blog very recently. So I figured I’d share a few tips.

First and foremost: blog more than I do. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been over a month since I’ve blogged. If you’re planning on starting your own blog, don’t do that. You know why? Perfect example: no one is reading this right now. Nah, just kidding. See, I’m allowed to blog so infrequently because I’m kind of a big deal. I also quote movies that came out seven years ago. Still, my posts are understandably infrequent because I’m out doing big deal things like having a grown-up job and taking out the trash which make each post that much more greatly anticipated. Still, if you’re just starting out, you shouldn’t do that. Try to keep it to a blog post a week on average if time is an issue, but more is good, too. That said…

Don’t blog too much. Some bloggers don’t know how much is too much and share every detail of their daily lives right down to the soggy Special K from that morning’s breakfast. While it is your blog and you should write about what you want, you should consider whether you also want anyone to read it. If so, I recommend keeping some things to yourself and not blogging every time you go to the bathroom.

You also need to write gewd. Seriously, if you don’t know the difference between “meet” and “meat,” I don’t even KNOW you. “Threw” and “through.” “Wait” and “weight.” “There” and “their” AND “they’re.” Capital letters at the beginning of each sentence and the personal pronoun “I.” “Lol” not allowed. And know that they made the enter/return button on the keyboard for a reason: paragraphs. No one wants to read anything that looks like this:

there have been some good things though. I went to an Oriole’s game with Rachel and others last night (the O’s won..omigah!) and we all had a really good time. I bought a cup of ice cream for $5, but it was the best damn ice cream I’ve had in a while, so it was worth it. I also got some things accomplished today in my room. I hung up several posters, and did a couple other little things. Rach, McKenzie, Sasha and this girl from New Orleans went rafting up at Harper’s Ferry today, and I couldn’t go. 🙁 But at least I got some stuff done, I guess. I also went to Taco Bell so that was nice. damn, I love them Chalupas. I also made the play, which is pretty exciting. I have a veerrry (very) small part, but it’ll be a part, and that’s good enough for me. Tomorrow night, there will be a live broadcast of BON JOVI in NYC at the United Artists theaters. I am so going. Be there, 9pm tomorrow night, if you want to see sexy men playing onstage…LIVE, no less. Then on Tuesday, their new cd HAVE A NICE DAY comes out.  I am so freaking EXCITED. these two things are really the only thing I have to look forward to for this week, so I’m thankful for that. They’re also supposed to be on Oprah Wednesday afternoon, but I won’t be able to watch, due to various things going on that day. anyone wanna tape it for me? 🙂

You are welcome for that lovely excerpt from the ramblings of a bored, boring, and shallow as a puddle 15-year-old me. Yeah. Painful, isn’t it? Almost as painful as it is creepy for a 15-year-old to call a bunch of 40-somethings sexy. Anyway…

To get a following, you must follow. If you’re seeking fame and fortune with your blog– HA! Wrong medium, buddy. (And as a sidenote to that, no, those ugly ass Google ads aren’t worth making your blog look like crap and the couple of pennies per week for it.) But you can build a following. Don’t expect it to happen simply because you’re putting words on the Internet. You have to connect with other bloggers not only by publicly following their blogs, but actually having a conversation with them. If you do this and follow the people that the people you follow follow (WTF) and leave comments on THEIR blogs, you’re more likely to generate interest. And get a Twitter thingy. Put it on the Facebook. It can be surprising when people you rarely speak to suddenly pop up saying they read your blog. Of course, if you’re going down the anonymous blogging route (a la the dating blogger), you’ll have to network wisely, you weirdo.

My final bit of insight is more of a statement than it is a suggestion, and that is that no one cares. Yup. And I say that in the nicest way possible along with humility because, hey, I blog– and I want people to read it. And yes, people sometimes read it. And like it, I think! But no one’s sending me fan mail asking, “WHYYYY haven’t you blogged in over a month? I want to know more about your daily LIIIIIIIFE.” And if anyone’s actually thinking that, they should keep on keepin’ it to themselves. You gotta blog for yourself, write about what you want, and never ever put automatically playing music on your blog because PEOPLE HATE THAT. Because while your taste in music is undoubtedly superior to others’, that Adele song has been played. To. Death.

While I could go on, I don’t want to further discourage anyone from following their life’s passion of blogging. So be sure to tune in next week when I give you helpful-but-not-really advice on how to post a bangin’ Missed Connections ad on Craigslist.

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Comments

  1. Too funny…..and that bored, boring, shallow 15 year-old was a pretty cool kid! Just sayin’……..

  2. These are all good tips! I’ve been wondering where you had gone, but I didn’t want to send you a creepy-stalky message about why you haven’t blogged in a month.

    One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to spelling: when people write “loose” when they mean “lose.” No, the Phillies didn’t loose a game. Sheesh!

  3. Thanks, Lauren. That 15-year-old had her moments. 🙂

    And Alexandra – I would’ve been flattered had creepy-stalky message come from you! That’s another bad one. People are geniouses– get it? GET IT?!

  4. Great stuff, Cass. Funny, but but a good lesson to the wise …. or unwise.

  5. What are you talking about? I just put some words on the internet and got a following instantly! I thought that was always the way it works.

    Of course, most of them are curse words. Maybe you should curse more.

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