Hey, you—yes you, behind the computer in the comfy sweatpants with multiple browser tabs open, nursing a glass of wine. Are you forgetting something? Don’t look so surprised. You know what I’m talking about, because you haven’t really forgotten, have you? You’ve just been pushing it to the back of your mind, or trying to. It’s that thing you’ve been meaning to do. That dream you’ve been putting off until you have more time. That major life goal you’ve kept at bay because other stuff just keeps coming up, and because those other, less important things need to be done first so you can “clear your mind.” Am I making you uncomfortable? Good.
Because here’s the deal: If you’re not going to go after whatever it is that will make you happy, the world will not weep. No one will care, nor notice. You can go quietly on, leading your comfortable (albeit discontent) life, telling yourself that your novel wouldn’t have gotten published anyway, that no amount of exercise will make you beautiful, that the world doesn’t need one more photographer. Would that make you happy, or would it just make you bitter?
Ask yourself the following:
When am I going to make myself a priority?
When am I going to realize that I’m the only person who will hold myself accountable?
When am I going to stop making excuses?
You will always have life’s little bullshit activities to deal with. Don’t wait until something big and life-alteringly tragic happens to learn the tough lesson that you should’ve started sooner, that those things weren’t really what was standing in your way. Don’t wait until next month or January 1st to radically and drastically change your habits. Start today, and start small if you have to. But start, already. It’s so much better to say you are a writer/musician/entrepreneur/basket weaver rather than just an aspiring one.
So, what’s your excuse? If you’re going to stick with it, make sure it’s a good one.
AMEN, SISTA!
Well that was the kick in the ass that I needed today.
I love this! This is such good advice. Luckily, I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum where people are telling me it’s OK to slow down sometimes and just enjoy life. I’m working on a middle ground though. OK, off to do more homework! haha, have a great Monday and thanks for visiting Harbor Cottage. -Kels
Yep, you made me uncomfortable, alright. :-/
There are valid excuses. For anyone writing a novel, I would offer them the excuse of “I don’t know anything about the world yet.” I think back on how much I’ve learned this past year and I scoff at what naive bullshit I would have written a year ago, let alone further back than that…. I’m definitely too young to write a novel. And I think that’s a perfectly valid excuse.
I disagree. Maybe you were/are too young to have the expectation to publish a novel right off the bat, but you’re certainly not too young to write one. Huge difference. Hell, I wrote my first “novel” when I was 11 years old! Maybe it wasn’t any good, but it wasn’t half-bad for an 11-year-old’s writing. If I hadn’t had that practice and self-discipline to actually write something then, maybe I wouldn’t be the writer I am today. Did I know much about life then? No, but that doesn’t mean a child’s perspective isn’t important enough to be written in the first place.
My mom keeps two unpublished manuscripts that she slaved over in a drawer. She could’ve given up. But had she never written those first two, she might not have written what would eventually be her first published novel.
I think if your excuse is “I don’t know anything about the world yet,” that could last a lifetime. I know that the older I get, the more I realize just how much I don’t know. In contrast, when you’re a kid, you think you know everything. So if we’re going with that excuse of not knowing anything, the chances of anyone writing a novel will likely only become slimmer as they age and grow wiser. Clearly, I’m playing devil’s advocate.
One thing about my mom that I forgot to mention is her high school fiction students, who have won national awards and scholarships with their writing. If my mom told them they were too young and naive to write anything, there wouldn’t be a fiction program, much less the young writers in it! Instead, my mom has encouraged and nurtured them– they’ve studied the works of truly great writers and have endured many failures of their own before ultimately writing something phenomenal, which many of them do. It’s not just about learning how to write, but life lessons, as well. Which translates to insight and intelligence well beyond their years. Their voices, however inexperienced (or not), matter.
I don’t disagree with you and I didn’t mean that youth is an excuse. I think what I really meant is that life presents people with various opportunities to get rid of naivete. And instead of writing a novel, in those opportunistic moments, it is more important to go out and learn some things about the world. I guess the full excuse is, “I don’t know anything about the world yet, so I’m going to spend this time trying to learn some things out there.”
I wrote my first novel at 13, and I wrote one 3 years ago, and who knows how many times I’ve attempted in between. But the time spent on the writing was relatively short compared to the time spent learning. And now is just another time for learning. And I think that is a valid excuse…
Really I guess that my excuse is an excuse of time. There are times for writing and there are times for living and sometimes it is hard to combine the two. And I know there are arguments to be made for making time for writing… but I make the argument for taking breaks from writing. Sometimes it is more important to put aside the role of a writer and assume the role of something else.
I misspoke when I said I was too young. That’s not the real argument I want to make, basically.
Keeping the conversation going in a new thread (those skinny comments become hard to read!). You’re absolutely right. Nothing like experiencing life first-hand, rather than just imagining it, to fuel your creativity for a potential novel. We should always be striving for and living out those learning experiences. And if that’s what you want to do before tackling something as enormous as writing a novel, there’s nothing wrong with that. (Personally, I don’t think that’s an excuse so much as it is a plan!) Educating yourself, then, becomes your “thing” to not make excuses for putting off.
I missed the second part of your comment when I wrote this response, so I’m just adding that I agree it can be beneficial (sometimes necessary) to take on different roles. That’s when inspiration sometimes hits hardest!
Anyway, I really appreciate your comments. While my post was a letter to anyone who might need a kick in the right direction and feel like, “Crap, that’s ME she’s talking to!” it was also a letter to myself. Personally, I have no good excuse for not writing every day. My responsibilities will only increase with time, so I see wasted days as wasted opportunities.
Haha, well that’s good for you. And my comment was really just excusing my own non-writing time to myself. But you keep at it!
I appreciated reading this Cassie – more than you know!
Ronnie xo
That’s a good kick in the butt alright! Great motivator. You’re so right. Nobody else will care if you don’t achieve your dreams. It matters only to you!
Thank you for this post, Cassie! I’m in the middle of making some big changes in my life, and your words are good motivation to keep going! I’m glad to know I’m not in it alone.
I think my excuse right now is that I’m not really sure what I want to do/achieve at this point. Yes, there are many hobbies and interests I get great satisfaction out of but I don’t feel particularly drawn to take any of them to another level, which I realize makes me sound terribly boring and dispassionate, but, I don’t know, I like having a steady, if fairly dull 9-5 that I don’t have to put too much effort into but that keeps me fed and clothed and leaves enough downtime to dabble in my hobbies and travel and spend time with friends.
Reading posts like this is always funny for me, because I get all riled up and motivated but lack a real direction to fire all that energy at!
What a great reminder to start the day!
great reminder. i totally needed it!
I love this, thanks for the inspiration!
Ahhh it’s like you’re my conscience! I’ve been putting off EVERYTHING lately — little things AND big things. You’re right, though. SIGH.
This is a really thoughtful, well-written post. The second paragraph was particularly jarring…in a good way.
I have an unfinished novel languishing on my laptop. I finally decided it (writing this novel) just wasn’t in me. It’s been a year since I ‘gave up’…but I can’t seem to let it go. I can’t seem to finish it. I can’t seem to let it go. I can’t finish it, I can’t seem to let it go…