No such thing as certainty



Tomorrow is my last day at my job before I move to L.A. (Less than three weeks away!) In a couple of days, I’ll receive my last full-time paycheck—a bittersweet reminder of the certainty and stability I’m giving up in exchange for adventure and dream fulfillment.

Tomorrow, I will still have a job. The next day, I won’t. That will be my certainty. (That, and sweatpants. Every day.)

The thing about certainty is that it’s often just a very comforting illusion. It’s the product of believing that what we have today will still be around tomorrow and taking whatever that is for granted. If that’s the case, how can a job, a paycheck, or stability be certain? Our perspectives on these things are different than they once were in this still-struggling economy, of course, but sometimes it takes a drastic change—in this case, my own volition to move—to realize none of it was ever certain anyway. I was just lucky.

If there’s ever a time to be uncertain, this is it. It’s like what people keep telling me: “It’s great you’re moving cross-country. Now’s the time to do it.” While I’d like to think I’ll always be the adventurous type, able to pick up and go follow my dream, I don’t disagree with the implication behind those comments. Now is the time. It’s why we’re doing it. While age isn’t a factor for everyone, in general, the older we get and the more rooted we become, the harder it is to make a bold move. There’s no guaranteeing that the future will be a more convenient time. Life doesn’t care about convenience. (The fact that I’m getting my wisdom teeth out one week before we leave is proof of that.)

So what do I know? I know that I can be certain of this moment and my intentions for the next. That’s about it.

I remember the day I quit my old restaurant gig hoping it would be my last. It probably wasn’t my last. I might actually have to master the art of balancing a large tray, once and for all, if I want to pay rent while attending school full-time. Or maybe I’ll be a dog walker. Getting paid to hang out with dogs sounds awesome, except for the poop part. Or maybe there’ll be the perfect writing opportunity, or maybe a combination of all of the above.

I’m open to the possibilities. I am so ready for a change, no matter how scary. Of that, I am certain.

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  1. Aw, Cassie, this brought little pinprickly tears to my eyes. It’s such a great reminder . Nothing is certain, and what is the point of perceived stability if it’s holding us back from going after the things that make us happy, healthy, marvelling-at-life creatures!

    • I’m glad this struck a chord! It’s a good question to ask yourself that if it’s holding us back from doing what we really want, is it worth it? I’d much rather take the risk and know it wasn’t right than always wonder.

  2. Ah, so true. Certainty is all about perspective, or so I’ve found. It’s a bit of an absolute, and as we all learn nothing in life should be thought of in absolutes!

  3. I love this. It’s scary at times, yet comforting to know that nothing is “permanent” if you don’t want it to be.

    Also, I’ve always wanted to be a dog walker. Sadly there isn’t much demand here in good ole Detroit. Maybe I’ll follow you to Cali and we can start a dog walkin’ side hustle 😉

  4. It sounds so exciting though, and I’m glad you’re sharing it with us. Knowing you can change things at any minute is great and I’ve been wanting to at least do some long term traveling. I know I can’t move all the way across the country right now (my little boy and his grandparents have some say in that!) some traveling soon would be nice, the more spontaneous the better.

  5. Your posts about moving to LA are like reading about my life almost two years ago, haha. I love it. You can be a dog walker with the company I work for if you want! It’s a pretty nice gig. And lots of cute doggies and kitties are involved. Can’t believe you’re going to be here in three weeks! What’s the exact day you’re arriving?

    • THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. Seriously, if there’s an opening, I’d totally do it. Can you take the pups to the beach?!

      We don’t have an *exact* date, but it’ll probably be around the 26th, give or take a day or two. We’re going to take about 8-10 days to get out there so we can enjoy the sights along the way before jumping in full-speed on the apartment hunting process. 🙂

  6. I so admire you for making a big and bold leap. Living in the moment is a state that’s difficult to attain but can really lead us to some of our best adventures. Good luck with the move!

  7. Such an important lesson to learn, and a hard one in my opinion. Especially if you’re a control freak like I am. It takes effort to just let go and not choke things so much. Not everything has to be in our control.

    Also, those jobs sound pretty perfect.

  8. If there’s anything that I’ve learned in the last five years, it’s to be vulnerable. Without that, how can we truly expect to experience what life has to offer? Three years ago I took a leap and told my best friend that I was falling in love with him and today we are happily living together. The big stuff is worth the leap. Cheers to your courage and future success!

    • Sounds like a risk with an amazing reward. Thanks a lot, Eileen! I agree – you shut yourself off from so much when you’re unwilling to be vulnerable. I’m glad I learned that sooner rather than later.

  9. Bon voyage and hope you are enjoying the new journey – welcome to the West Coast!

  10. It is so close now, this is so exciting!

    Waitressing would probably be a good option to begin with, but you can probably get some freelance work and build up your portfolio while you are studying 🙂 I’m sure you’d get a lot of gigs and from that recommendations for more.

  11. Great post Cassie!

    I’m so excited for you and love that you are taking this leap. As I am sure you are already discovering, making the decision to abandon the conventional for adventure is so good for you, so freeing. I moved from Connecticut to Florida 11 years ago- not exactly cross country but still worlds apart. Best thing I could have ever done. I too moved without a job and things fell into place as they do when we stop worrying and create space for something new to show up. 🙂

    Best of luck to you and hope you have many great experiences along the way!

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