Going home

going home

When I was planning my trip home to the East Coast for Christmas, I envisioned coming back seeming different somehow. More cultured maybe. Lively. Slightly tanned, better hair.

And, well, I indulged in that mindset a bit. I got a dramatic new haircut. I made a point of getting some color at the beach last week. You know, the important things in life.

But the more I thought about going home magically changed—at least on the inside—it dawned on me that maybe that was the wrong approach. True, I have changed in a lot of small yet significant ways. And I’ve learned so much in just a few short months—about myself, about the journalism field, about the City of Angels, and about what uprooting your life to start a new adventure with your boyfriend and pursue a dream looks like.

What I didn’t think about at first, though, was how everything back at home would be changing on me. Time didn’t stop the day I left Maryland. Things wouldn’t feel the way I remembered them from before. In many ways, home would be plenty different on its own without me making a conscious effort. Transforming as the result of personal growth and experience is a wonderful (and necessary) thing. Altering things about yourself to seem more interesting than you actually are? Not something I want to ever get caught up in.

What I don’t want to change? Goofing around with my sisters at a significantly decreased maturity level. That amazing spoiled feeling of being fed and pampered by your parents. Knowing no matter where else I choose to live, home base will be here for me when I need it.

It’ll be just a week of family time before I head back to L.A., and I intend to make the most of the whirlwind trip. John and I have a “Four Christmases” style visit ahead of us, so things may be a bit quiet around these parts (as they have been for the past week). But I’ll be checking in for an end-of-year post and spending the downtime I do have brainstorming what 2014 will be like for WTH. There will be changes, yes. But at its heart, still the same blog it’s always been.

In the meantime, if you’re celebrating, have a Merry Christmas. Make the most of it—you never know how things will change.

What I learned in my first semester of grad school

What I learned in my first semester of grad school

The dinosaur to the far right is me, yes. (Photo by Alan Middlestaedt)

I can’t believe it. I’m done.

Well, a quarter of the way done, anyway. That’s right—I survived my first semester of grad school. You know what they say, time flies, etc. But truly, when I look back over the past few months, I can’t believe how much I’ve done. Just within the first few weeks, I was interviewing Slash, navigating downtown Los Angeles court rooms, and writing more in a short period of time than I had all year. Since late August, I’ve also developed a backbone and video editing skills, not to mention a clearer focus on what it is I want to do when I’m a student no more.

To be honest, I went into this program with some reservations. Maybe more than one should have when going into serious debt for said program. But then, that serious debt was the main reason I had reservations. The other, of course, was just self-doubt.

In any case, I’m so glad I stuck it out. The opportunities I’ve had would’ve been much harder to come by had I gone with a more grassroots approach. Not that any of these things would’ve been impossible had I done that instead (that’s the thing about journalism—you don’t need a degree to do it), but I’ve definitely benefited from the constant kicks in the butt that being enrolled in a rigorous program gives you. I needed someone to give me assignments—especially difficult ones.

So what have I learned?

I’ve learned that self-doubt is absolutely part of the experience. At least, to start. After a while though, you’ve got to shake it or at least fake it. (You know, until you make it.) Grad school is as much about becoming confident in your footing as it is studying the methods of those who do it better. You want to be like them? Act like them.

It’s up to you to make the most of it. Just like anything else in life, graduate school is what you make of it. Yes, you might go into it expecting one thing and end up realizing it’s entirely different from what you pictured. (I was so confused during orientation. Why are they giving us camcorders? Don’t they know I want to write for, like, those magazines made of trees?) But grad school is not the time to be narrow-minded. Embrace the challenges. Go beyond the minimum requirement. You’re wasting your money if you don’t take full advantage of all the resources available to you, no matter what the field. Graduate knowing you got everything out of it that you could.

Friendships form fast. I couldn’t believe how quickly people were forming into groups even during orientation back in August. For an introvert, that can be overwhelming. (Especially if you’re an introvert who’s still getting her bearings in a new city.) But even if you’re not quick to form friendships, they will establish over time. Having every class together—and suffering through seemingly impossible assignments together—dictates that. It’s so funny to think back on how different my cohort seemed in the first week of classes. By the end of the semester, it was a tight-knit unit with weird inside jokes. (As evidenced in the photos above and below.)

This is, of course, based on just one person’s experience, and grad school experiences obviously vary greatly depending on what you’re studying.

My perspective is also shaped by the fact that I took “off” a couple of years between undergrad and graduate school to get some experience under my belt. And even though at the time that job—where I worked among a truly special group of people for two years—was not what I wanted to do in the long-term, I’m so glad I took that time to work there, learn a bit about an industry I didn’t know anything about at first, and save my money while I lived rent-free at home. That time of my life helped make this time of my life possible.

And before taking any credit for my future education, I have to consult with experts in Student Loan Consolidation San Jose.

That time was also when I really started pouring into my blog, because my job wasn’t something I took home with me at night. (Journalism is so totally the opposite.) And thank God for this blog, because between the writing and the photography, it gave me a creative outlet I so desperately needed. The fact that I haven’t abandoned it since starting grad school is something I’m very proud of. Turns out I’m not terrible at this time management thing.

So I’ve learned this much. I look forward to seeing what else I learn over the next year and-a-half.

Fellow academic scholars, aspiring graduates, and students of life—what valuable lessons have you learned lately?

Finding faith in chaos

As I prepare to turn in final projects for my first semester of grad school, I’m happily giving up control over WTH for the day and handing it over to a lovely lady, Emelda, from Live in Color. I found Emelda’s story to be fascinating and her writing style exquisite—I know you will, too.

witty title here guest post

“Let go of your old narratives when they no longer serve you. Life changes constantly, and your story will, too.” 

– Tammy Strobel (Author/Blogger/Photographer)

Over a year ago, within two months, both of our cars were totaled.


Before my husband and I could sigh, we learned about our baby.
My emotions vacillated from surprise and joy to the kind of wrenching terror novel responsibility bears. How would I bring forth a life as I still searched for myself?

Months passed; halfway through the pregnancy, one of our doctors solemnly cautioned something may be wrong with our daughter’s heart. Racing anxiety quickly yielded to determination and prayer. We stood in the hospital parking lot on a tepid spring day, my husband, mother and I, heads bowed. We remained calm. A few days later the test results were negative.

After a nearly three-day delivery in August, Naima entered the world at 11:11 a.m., healthy and whole. Only seconds earlier, she maneuvered to break free of the umbilical cord which locked itself around her neck twice; the first cries were an audible reminder that life, in all of its complexities, is a continuous marvel.

live in color blog

Photo by Emelda De Coteau

As I look into those eyes, pressing against the softness of her skin, my heart is imbued with unending joy. She is here, because we refused to give up on her, on the power of faith. For me faith is not the absence of doubt—it’s having the courage to wrestle with it, facing our vulnerabilities, one day, one moment at a time. As Iyanla Vanzant, teacher and author often remarks, “we must do our work.”

This inner work is constant and consistent. I believe God pushes us with each new challenge to trust more fully. Certainly, there are days when it all feels impractical to me, as if I am swimming against a current.

This autumn, while leaves fell, so did my tears as I came to grips with a stark realization—a close family member now deals with a lifelong illness. There would be no retreat, only our resolve to cope.

It is during quiet times of reflection, as the bustle of life subsides momentarily, that I am reminded faith, ironically, is perhaps with us most strongly in chaos, when it’s easier to lose ourselves in despair and panic. We only have to remain willing to see promise and possibilities, not obstacles.

 

Emelda De Coteau

Photo by Keston De Coteau

Emelda De Coteau works for an arts non-profit in Baltimore. She juggles blogging and graduate studies at Notre Dame of Maryland University with blissful family life. She loves cuddle time with her hubby Keston, daughter Naima and their beagle, Ms. Foxy. She is the founder of Live In Color blog, which features posts on inspiration, style and culture, and chats with inspirational people in a variety of fields such as independent GRAMMY-nominated artist Carolyn Malachi and Baltimore-based filmmaker Bashi Rose. Her writing has also appeared in The Baltimore Times, Beautifully Said magazine, and Bmorenews.com. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Interweb Finds: Wet dogs, rethinking holiday “survival” & more

As I type this, I sit wrapped in a blanket, trying to ignore the smell of burnt dust from the ancient wall furnace vents, wondering if it will set off the smoke detector again. Guys, it’s freezing in L.A. Okay, not freezing… but cold. And wet. Last night’s weather felt downright East Coast-y, and it’s just weird. It’s not right.

When I wasn’t bemoaning sub-60 degree weather, I spent this weekend scrambling for new story ideas, attending a party where I was one of four straight people, and celebrating the end of the semester’s classes.

And now, for this week’s interweb finds:

A photo series of wet dogs. I DIE.

As Christmas draws closer, I’m starting to stress about my first trip home since moving to L.A. So I LOVE Rachel’s post about rethinking “surviving” the holidays:

If you tell yourself that Thanksgiving is going to be stressful because the whole family will be there with Aunt Martha forcing green bean casserole on everyone while dad tells awkward jokes, then yes, it will be stressful and those things will grate on you, and you may in fact cause a stressful environment by bringing your negative energy to the table.
 
But what happens when you go in with a positive mindset?

From the mundane to the profound moments—a list of the first times people felt like an adult. (I can relate to so many of these.)

Such a dreamy Silver Lake house tour. I want to be friends with the renter based on style (and dog) alone.

This made me laugh out loud. A kid’s insane Christmas wish list, hilariously annotated by dad:

“‘A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime.’ The fuck is this? What am I, Galactus? Do you understand the catastrophic universal implications of possessing a shape-shifting, time-traveling device?

These amazing shadow sculptures are for real.

Watch how a leopard reacts when she finds out her prey has a newborn. Again, I DIE.

 

This week is it for me—the home stretch. Lots of work to be done before I can officially declare this first semester of grad school a successful one. Here’s hoping I end up with a great story to tell.

How about you? What do you have going on this week?

 

Found in L.A.: The Last Bookstore

Want to know about the time I felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast when she discovers the castle’s library? Visiting The Last Bookstore in downtown L.A. was kind of like that.

If you love books, this is a book lover’s heaven. And if you don’t—though I’m not sure how that’s possible—The Last Bookstore will make you love books.

This magical place was named with irony in mind, but as the number of book stores continues to diminish, well, just about everywhere, this really is one of the few that seems to be thriving. And as soon as you walk in, it’s easy to see why. The 10,000 square foot space is the largest-selling independent book store in California, selling new and used books and records. It’s easy to get lost. (I totally forgot about the parking meter, which I let expire while I browsed.)

Upstairs is what’s called the “Labyrinth,” where there are more than 100,000 used books for just a dollar each. THAT’S RIGHT, FOLKS. You can really get your reading on here. If you’re into bookshelf porn, this is the place to visit. The Labyrinth really lives up to its name, too. I couldn’t believe how expansive it was. Every time you think you’ve reached the end of the books, there’s another hidden corner to turn. And what better place for a bibliophile to get lost?

The Last Bookstore also commissioned several artists for funky, permanent installments, which really add so much to the whimsy of the place. Can you imagine how especially fun this would be to explore as a kid? You could turn any child into an avid reader by bringing them here.

There are also lots of events at the Last Bookstore, like readings and open mics. Apparently, you can even get married there. (Would be well-suited for a couple of book-lovers, no?) I can’t wait to go back.

Would anyone else like to spend his or her whole day at The Last Bookstore? Angelenos, where should I visit next?

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Through the Lens: Photos from November

month in photos: November

It’s always surreal when November transitions into December and the holiday craze kicks into high gear.

It’s especially strange when it’s 72 degrees and sunny. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I was grinning ear to ear when we kicked off November by camping on the beach (see above). Likewise when we wished it farewell on the beach (see last photo).

There were a lot of highlights for me this month. I stepped out of my comfort zone and produced a story for broadcast I was proud of, I had some revelations about money, and I explored more of my new city that I love so dearly. Here are a few of my favorite photos from November:

Griffith Park is one of my favorite spots in L.A. I’d been a few times, but never on such a clear day. I didn’t know you could see all the way to Santa Monica (and the ocean!) from the Observatory. John and I hiked around here for a while and soaked up the sun.

We also revisited the old brewery downtown where hundreds of artists-in-residence dwell. We walked by one guy’s studio that was wide open. We stood there peeking in long enough that the artist, Sean Sobczak, welcomed us in and lit everything up:

We partied afterward in a warehouse. This is the bathroom. I didn’t use it… I just wanted a photo.

Last week, we saw Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy from Anchorman at The Grove signing books. We got there just a few minutes before he arrived, and he walked right past us. I could’ve reached out and touched him. (I really wanted the chance to tell him I was the next Veronica Corningstone, but alas, the book signing line was too insanely long.)

Thanksgiving was truly the highlight of the month. John and I celebrated, just the two of us. Neither one of us had ever cooked a Thanksgiving dinner before, but damn did we make ourselves proud. It made missing our families back home a little easier. (And now we know we’re totally capable of hosting it ourselves!)

Since then, I’ve been making the most of my Thanksgiving break. It’s so incredibly nice to have time off from the pressures of school. Yesterday, we headed out to Venice Beach and spent the afternoon strolling the boardwalk, people-watching, and sitting out in the sun. We even changed into our workout clothes and went for a run on the beach and through the canals.

Of course, next week it immediately kicks back into crazy time at school for me, but there are really only a couple more weeks of that before winter break, if you can believe it. (I can’t.) Next week is the last week of classes before final projects are due, so wish me luck!

There’s so much to look forward to in December, I don’t know where to begin. But seeing family and friends when we go back home for Christmas is at the top of my list.

How about you? What did you love about November? And what are you looking forward to in December?