Insta-what?

You know what I love about my completely impractical, expensive, amateur, and often heartbreaking passion that is film photography?

It’s the perfect excuse to pull over on the side of the road during the golden hour and snap a photo of a run-down farmhouse you pass by every day. It’s cause for victory when, seconds after you’ve taken said photo, storm clouds roll in and cover the gorgeous sunlight you wouldn’t have captured otherwise. It’s thinking to yourself, “It’ll be a shame if that photo doesn’t turn out well,” and later getting a little thrill when you’ve paid $41 for 72 shots, one of which is the above, which is exactly how it looked through your viewfinder and how you hoped it would look in print. It’s loving every single imperfection (including the grains of sand in the lens from romantic beach camping trips) about each perfect shot.

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Five things you (and I) need to stop doing. Now.

As an imperfect yet ever-evolving being, I try to maintain self-insight and look for ways in which I could improve. (After all, I’m thoughtful and stuff.)

Don’t let me mislead you–most of the time, those things are usually along the line of less shampoo, more SPF. But occasionally, I like to go a little deeper than that. And I think these five tendencies are something I need to work on eradicating. Maybe you do, too.

Saying “sorry” when you really mean “excuse me.” How is (sometimes awkwardly) moving through and existing in shared space deserving of an apology?! Apologizing for one of those weird I thought you were going this way, no I’ll go that way moments is a strange and submissive habit that says, “I am not worthy of accidentally standing in your way for two whole seconds. Forgive me.” No. Stop it.

Forcing or avoiding small talk. Small talk is, admittedly, not my thing. Most of the time. Some days, I’m perfectly willing to engage in this kind of communication, and other times, I’m just not in the mood. Both of these things are okay. There are mornings at work where I’ll happily chat with a co-worker about our weekends, and the very next day, I might not have more than a friendly “hello” for the same person. That’s fine—I don’t think you need to force conversation every time you’re faced with someone. (I’ve done that, too, and wanted to smack myself when I mumbled something incoherent for the sake of making noise at someone.) There are those who will ALWAYS want to chat, in which case it’s perfectly acceptable to keep your responses light and short. Not everyone is good at small talk, and not everyone likes it. But in professional situations especially, it’s important to maintain a friendly air about you, even if you have nothing to contribute besides a smile.

Giving a wishy-washy RSVP. As an introvert who doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, I am very guilty of this. Someone you don’t know very well invites you to a party where you won’t know anyone, a friend you haven’t seen in a while calls you up last-minute for a get-together, or a buddy wants to go to a bar that you HATE. These are all circumstances where it’s okay to very clearly say, “No, thanks!” or, “Sorry, I can’t make it.” Sounds incredibly simple, yet many people make it so much more difficult than that. Not everyone is good at the whole Facebook invite thing—we shouldn’t assume everyone’s lives revolve around it—but otherwise, responding with, “Mayyybeee… I’ll let you know!” when you are already dead-set on not attending is just plain flaky. Of course, if you say no all the time, people will stop inviting you. I do think it’s good to go out of your comfort zone every now and then, or offer an alternative plan. But saying “no” on occasion so you can stay home and drink boxed wine? Totally okay.

Deflecting, or rejecting, compliments. I’ve seen this piece of advice floating around inspirational la-dee-da blogs about self-love and embracing your inner hoo-ha a fair amount, but it’s worth repeating. Because people don’t just hand out compliments out of obligation. They have to go out of their way to pronounce extra syllables and exert a fair amount of air to tell you that you look great/did a good job/are super thoughtful. When you respond with self-deprecation or throw back a half-hearted “No, you!”, it’s like saying, “You’re wrong, and I actually really suck.” Uncomfortable for all parties involved.

Living in your own bubble, on repeat. So easy to do. So easy to fix. Take a different route to work. Do something OTHER than partying every weekend. Actually make eye contact (and say hello?!) to the people you pass in the hallway. This last one, I swear, is a dying form of civility. People my age looks at me like I’m nuts if I smile and say hello… even if we’re the only two people in a room. Anyone over 60? They’re the first to say, “Morning!” We need to bring that back.

What would you add to this list? Are you guilty of any of these offenses?

The “Lucky” Ones – An interview with YA fiction author Suzanne Supplee

The day has come! It’s finally time to kick off The “Lucky” Ones interview series featuring creative types who are both passionate and bold. Confused? Start here. Otherwise, let’s waste no time introducing the first interviewee, author Suzanne Supplee.

Who is she? A little background: Suzanne is the author of three young adult fiction novels—Somebody Everybody Listens To, Artichoke’s Heart, and When Irish Guys Are Smiling. Born in the small town of Columbia, Tennessee, she grew up with a love for writing that eventually manifested itself into landing a book deal with Penguin and getting a blurb from Dolly Parton—but not without a few heartbreaks and setbacks along the way. Before Suzanne became a published author, rejection letters provided plenty of frustration, and several manuscripts ended up permanently in her desk drawer.

 In true hard-working Capricorn fashion, however, Suzanne determinedly continued to write, and her 4:30 a.m. daily writing sessions finally paid off in the form of her author status. Her novels, geared toward teen and pre-teen girls, are both humorous and heartfelt. Her protagonists make you want to be their friend. It makes sense, then, that Suzanne is also a high school Creative Writing teacher—her heart is young.

One last thing: Suzanne is also the mother of three—Flannery, Elsbeth, and me. Yup, this author is my mama, and I got over calling her by her first name for the sake of a good bio. Without further ado, my interview with Suzanne Supplee!


When did you first realize that you wanted to write? How did you come to that realization?

I think I always wanted to write.  Or at the very least, I wanted to be heard.  Anne Lamott, one of my favorite writers, says people write because they were not heard as children, and I think this applied to me then.  I think it still applies to me now at times.  Just the way some people are better in person, I am better in writing.


Who are your favorite authors, both current and classic?

I have a brand new favorite.  Recently, I read Brooklyn by Colm Toibin.  It’s simple and quiet and brilliant.  Just the sort of novel I love.  Of course, my all-time favorite is Flannery O’Connor, and I love Rick Bragg’s essays in Southern Living.  John Irving, Thomas Hardy, Emily Dickinson, Barbara Kingsolver are all fantastic.  I always hate this question because there are too many to name.  Fannie Flagg!  She’s like an old friend, though I’ve never met her.  Ayn Rand and Joan Didion and Anne Tyler and John Updike.  John Updike!  I’m just sick that he’s dead.  And Joyce Carol Oates and Sherman Alexie and Garth Stein.  Sobbed when I read [Stein’s] The Art of Racing in the Rain. This question is exhausting me, so I’ll stop now.

No, wait!  Tessa Hadley and Hemingway and Steinbeck and Rebecca Wells and Elizabeth Strout.


What is it like writing a novel, sending it off, and receiving pages of edits and notes from your editor? Is it ever discouraging or overwhelming? How do you handle it?

It’s like giving birth then putting the infant, along with the placenta, in a Fed Ex box and mailing it to New York.


What motivates you to keep working on your craft during the days when it’s hard to keep going?

I love my characters and I love my setting.  If I don’t love my main character and my setting, I won’t keep writing.  If I didn’t love my family and my house, I wouldn’t come home.  Whatever you’re working on should feel like a good home, a place you want to return to again and again, even if things aren’t always running smoothly there.


What is your view on “writer’s block”?

Go wash your mouth out with soap, young lady.


What is something most people don’t know about writing and publishing young adult fiction?

It’s just as challenging and significant as writing for adults.  Are children any less important than teens?  Are babies less important than toddlers?  No.  The notion that young adult books are somehow inferior to adult books is ridiculous.


You’re also a high school fiction teacher. (Did you know that?!) I’ve told you many times I’d like to be your student. For some reason, though, you never give me any homework. Anyway, how do you inspire your students? How do they inspire you?

I make them work hard.  Most people don’t realize this, but high school students really do like to work hard, and they want to be challenged.  I just treat them like real writers because that’s what they are.  I share with them whatever it is I’m struggling with as a writer.  I try to be kind.  And, truthfully, I’m just as passionate about their work as I am about my own.  I suppose this is what it’s like to be an agent or an editor.


Have you ever faced the fear of failure? How do you deal with it?

I faced it five minutes ago.  I face it every second.  I believe that people who are too confident and sure of themselves are full of shit, phonies.  But like Dory says in Nemo, “just keep swimming.”  Just keep swimming


What is the craziest/weirdest/coolest form of inspiration you’ve had?

Years ago I went to Ireland by myself.  It was the trip of a lifetime.  I remember driving to Galway and stopping at this castle along the way.  I thought to myself, I want to write about this place.  I want to set a book here.  You know what’s crazy?  Some thirteen years later, I did just that.


What is the most rewarding part about writing books? Is it seeing the finished product, or something else?

It’s the work itself.  It’s the feeling you have after a good writing session, the same feeling you get when you’re reading a great book and you don’t want to put it down.  It’s sitting at your desk and typing as fast as you can because you don’t want to lose the idea.  It’s having the characters literally tug you out of bed, sometimes at four in the morning, and you go with them willingly because you like them so much.  It’s making yourself laugh or cry with a scene, maybe both.  It’s finishing a first draft and putting it away for a while then missing it like crazy.  It’s staring at someone you don’t know because they remind you of a character from your novel.  It’s going to a party and wishing you were at your desk writing.


What is it like writing for young girls? What’s your favorite part about meeting your readers?

They’re so young!  I honestly forget that.  I write from the adolescent place inside my own head, and this part of me always felt so grown up, even when I wasn’t.


What can you tell us about your next project?

It’s for boys.  Or, I should say the protagonist is a boy.  Obviously, girls can read it, too.  And there’s another book under contract with Penguin which I won’t talk about just yet.


Recommend a book (or several books!) for writers and aspiring writers.

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
On Writing by Stephen King

 

Thanks, momma (er, Suzanne) for being my very first interview subject. It’s no wonder I want to write my own novel some day. Check out her website or her Facebook page and say hi! Comments and questions here, of course, are welcome and encouraged.

Passionate? Creative? Interested in being interviewed for The “Lucky” Ones series? . 

 

One lucky girl

After some coercing, begging, and harassing, Witty Title Here finally made it to 100 likes on Facebook! I am both grateful and totally okay with the fact that many of you liked my page simply so I would leave you alone. I have no shame. It’s cool. (And thank you.)

Of course, there was a reason for my incessant badgering other than my desire for a three-digit number of people to whom I could broadcast my Facebook-y thoughts. I’ve been not-so-patiently waiting to announce a new series that will feature some very cool people, and now that I have the love of 100+ social media minions, it officially kicks off this week! Get ready for The “Lucky” Ones interview series, a biweekly event starting this Thursday.

What is The “Lucky” Ones? And why the quotation marks? Allow me to explain.

The “Lucky” Ones interview series features words from creative people of all types who are lucky enough to be doing something they love. Whether world travelers, painters, music teachers, or entrepreneurs, these people all have one thing in common—hard work. Which is why it actually has very little to do with luck. But alas, people who love what they do tend to be perceived as blessed. These interviews will shed light on what really goes into making each of these people tick, as well as reveal the story behind each unique individual.

And I am friggen excited.

When I first got the idea for this series, I was hopeful, but didn’t know where to start. It didn’t take long for my mind to wander off to Facebook. Scrolling through my friend list, I realized there were dozens of potential interviewees right there with no degree of separation who seemed to lead pretty interesting lives. I also realized that, despite my relatively small number of Facebook friends, I don’t really know most of them. It was a little intimidating sending off my first couple of queries to people I’d only met a couple of times. But the responses I’ve gotten so far couldn’t have been more welcoming or enthusiastic. Already, I’ve gotten to know people better in just a couple of emails than I did actually meeting them, and I’m only sorry I didn’t reach out sooner.

And friends, be warned. I have several of you on my radar for upcoming Q&A sessions. Just because you “liked” my page doesn’t mean I’m done with you. I’m also especially interested in people I don’t know. Does The “Lucky” Ones sound like something you’d be perfect for? If you’re hard-working and passionate about something—anything—I’m already into it. Please don’t be bashful, folks. . Let’s chat.

I hope you’re looking forward to this as much as I am, because you’re about to meet some special people. I’ll be kicking off the series this Thursday with someone I do know, and pretty darn well. But I’ll maintain the suspense just a little longer while I celebrate the fact that I’m finally treating this blog like something I’m passionate about, and not just an obligation. Pretty cool.

Behind the scenes

Last weekend, rather than one of my usual boxed wine-induced bellybutton contemplation sessions or Internet grammar-curing rampages (one misused semicolon at a time, y’all), I attended a music video shoot. But not just ANY music video shoot. John’s band Ancient Americans‘ music video shoot. And like a good blogging opportunist should, I brought Old Miss ‘Nolta (the camera) along to document the process. I also leered in the background of every scene requiring extras, but we’ll get to that later.

The shoot started early in the day at John’s mom’s house, which served as a rather fancy backdrop for the opening scene. The storyline follows the lead female singer, Jessie, and starts out with her getting ready to go out. It’s a simple sequence of events in theory (looking in the mirror, fixing her hair, walking out the door), but pretty complicated in execution. I got to watch as the professional camera-wielders—good friends of the band—set up and tested shots and lighting. Although I knew very little about what they were doing, I wanted to know. It was pretty eye-opening seeing how long it took to set up just for a couple of seconds of footage, only to break down and do it all over again for another couple of seconds’ worth. As curious as I was in their set-up process inside the house, I started losing interest once the story moved outdoors. It was friggen hot, and those guys were working hard.

One of the coolest accessories in the video (besides Jessie’s awesome dress, pictured above), was the Rolls Royce. For this scene, John played the driver and even donned a suit. I’d never seen him so schmancy. I found this all to be very inspiring, so I think I yelled something along the lines of, “Give me VERSACE!” before taking this shot.

The second half of the shoot took place at the videographer’s house for a party, where the storyline would continue with a little live musical performance, as well as some drama to add tension, of course. A wonderfully absurd amount of Christmas lights were hung, and an uneven amount of girls and guys (but mostly guys—joke of the night) danced along to the faux performance. Over and over. They needed to shoot from lots of angles, after all, so everyone left with the song ingrained in their brains. I think I accidentally made eye contact with the camera once. I think a guy actually pushed me out of the way so he could could make eye contact with the camera.

The video ends with Jessie taking off on the back of a motorcycle. The guys shot this scene with a pretty awesome thingy (um… help me out here) that they made themselves. The best part was lightning flashed as soon as they took off down the alleyway. Perfectly cinematic.

And of course, we girls had to get cute for our small screen (background) appearances. I even wore The Boots, so I’m thinking they had better be in a shot somewhere. With me below is Kristen, who plays the “other” girl in the video. Say hmm? Told you there was drama.

I can’t wait to see the video when post-production is wrapped up! I will of course be sharing it here with you. In the meantime, I’m just thrilled to have photos that actually came out… for once.

People. I need just 12 more likes on Facebook until I hit 100 and launch my new series as a result. Help a girl out, won’t you?

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Decisions, decisions

Fellow overthinkers, where you at?

All my life, I have struggled with decision-making. Everything from the question of, “What should I do with my life?” to the life-altering decision of where to eat for dinner leaves me with more anxiety that I’m comfortable with. Like I do with other characteristics typical of those born between September 23rd and October 23rd (requiring balance in order to be happy, for one), I often chalk it up to being a classically indecisive Libra.

But just because I have a not-exactly-thorough explanation of why I’m that way doesn’t mean I shouldn’t challenge or examine it.To my similarly struggling friends, let’s look at the bright side. Pros do exist in this situation– it means we’re rarely rash in our judgments, and as a a result, we put a lot of thought into things. (Pink sparkles or purple sparkles? Oh, I don’t know, just ALL OF THE SPARKLES.)

Another common tendency associated with indecision is agreeableness. (No red squiggly line under that one. Yup, it’s a word. “Agreeability” is not. Moving on…) Which seems good on the surface, until the point where you become merely submissive to what everyone else wants you to do. When offered the choice between two movies, do you respond cheerfully with, “Whatever you want to watch”? That’s pretty harmless, albeit annoying if that’s always your answer. But when applied to just about any other important decision in life, it weakens your confidence in your own abilities. A backbone that remains under-exerted loses its ability to support. There is a difference between asking for advice and asking others to make life’s tough choices for you.

I’ve always admired those who make decisions without the agony I so often feel. Even if they’re ultimately the wrong decisions, as long as they’re not reckless, at least the person wasn’t afraid to make them in the first place. It’s something I’ve often worried will hold me back from doing incredible things, but my fears are lessened by the knowledge that at least I’m self-aware enough to realize I’m that way and have the power to change that about myself.

That’s why the quote above resonates with me so much. The message is simple really: pursue happiness, and happiness with ensue. Oh my gosh, I think I just came up with an (almost) equally as awesome quote. I recently came across another one that I like. And this is for all you overthinkers out there:

The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize. – Robert Hughes

So for those of you who can relate to my own struggle, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone… and that you’re probably way better off than you give yourself credit for. Screw self-deprecation and doubt. Challenge yourself to figure it out on your own.

Like Witty Title Here? Why don’t you “like” it… on Facebook! Click here to visit the new page and help me reach 100 fans. When I do, I’ll announce an upcoming series featuring pretty cool people doing pretty cool stuff.