I so feel you on this. I’ve become a shut-in over the last year because it’s a real task to even plan a meet-up with my gal pals. We go back and forth through email just trying to pick a date and place, and it only happens once a month.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to new people that you meet. I think most people are flattered about that kind of thing.
I totally feel you on this because I’m in the same sort of boat! Most of my close friends are people that I went to Elementary/Highschool with and they live 14 hours away or more! So hanging out has become once a year thing.
In the town I am in right now, it’s a commuter town so no one is interested in making friends because they will just leave anyways. And those people who where born and raised here? They have their own group of friends they refuse to include people in.
So glad I’m not alone in my feelings of loserdom. It doesn’t help that this time of year, all I want to do is sit on the couch in my sweats next to a fire. And eat food. There’s the food part, too. But I’ll work on it.
I am feeling the same way. I just moved and I have no idea how I’m going to go about making friends. I’m not working yet so I’ve been trying to think of ways to meet people. Crazily enough, joining the gym crossed my mind as well. Let me know how asking your personal trainer out on a date goes, er, I mean, to drinks goes. Haha. Good luck, you aren’t the only one.
HAHA! I think we might be soul mates…Is that awkward? Too soon? I bet you think I’m one of the creepy people on Craigslist. I swear, I’m not.
We are seriously the same person. I actually JUST wrote a piece (not on my blog, for a website), on prepubescent awkwardness.
I live with my boyfriend, Blake, and he is also my best friend / travel buddy / I may have convinced him to let me straighten his shaggy hair once. BUT, I have not motivation to go out on the weekend, get hammered, and wake up Saturday morning wishing I were dead. Is a coffee date or a casual dinner with one, maybe two, glasses of wine too much to ask for? Or do I really have to drink the whole bottle to feel remotely social?
This tugged at my heart strings! I graduated uni in June, just moved to a new city, my friends are scattered all over the country now and I just don’t know how to meet people without seeming like a desperate, friendless freak… and this city has so much going on that I feel I’m missing out on without a drinking buddy! Since this was written in November, any improvements?? Love your blog by the way, and envy your career! x
Wow, good luck with the transition! That’s a pretty exciting life change, though I’m sure it can be lonely sometimes. I occasionally think that if I were to move to a new city, I wouldn’t be able to take full advantage of it because I’m such a shut-in.
Improvements on my end are minimal (I have had SOME girly time), but these days I’m too busy to feel like I’m missing out on much! So that’s a good thing I guess?
Dude. I know you wrote this several months ago, but you linking to it in your most recent blog post is SO timely for me. I JUST made my first official Real Adult World friend on Friday! We met while both of us were on our laptops writing in the middle of a crowded restaurant, and we watched each others’ stuff whenever the other one had to go to the bathroom. We chatted a bit, made a coffee date for today, and then I spontaneously helped her grab a cabinet off a curb and bring it to her apartment to decorate. She only lives like two blocks away from me! I am still reeling from the serendipity of it all; I keep thinking, “Oh, so THIS is how you make friends when college classes/work/other people don’t magically bring you together”. It’s like platonic dating. I am so proud of myself. I thought I was never going to make new friends on my own ever again. It’s such a hard thing to do in the real world (and it doesn’t help when you move halfway across the country like I did, leaving all of your old friends behind).
Anyway, this is a great post, and I really liked your other one too. Sometimes you just have to giggle and pee = truth.
Yay! I’m so glad to hear a success story in the world of female platonic dating, as you say. (I love that.) I can only imagine how much harder it is to make friends when you’ve moved across the country like that. When that time comes for me, I feel like I’m just going to have to force myself to put myself out there a little more than I normally would. It’s risking making people think you’re a weirdo, but it could also be how you meet your new future best friend. Maybe you’ve met yours!
Ever tried a Meetup? (meetup.com) We moved to Austin two+ years ago, and it has been a solid way to meet people with similar interests. Example: Ukulele meetups. Seriously.
Unfortunately, we’re out in the ‘burbs and not so close to most things, but if you’re decently close to the center of wherever you live, a meetup could be a good way to go.
I so feel you on this. I’ve become a shut-in over the last year because it’s a real task to even plan a meet-up with my gal pals. We go back and forth through email just trying to pick a date and place, and it only happens once a month.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to new people that you meet. I think most people are flattered about that kind of thing.
I totally feel you on this because I’m in the same sort of boat! Most of my close friends are people that I went to Elementary/Highschool with and they live 14 hours away or more! So hanging out has become once a year thing.
In the town I am in right now, it’s a commuter town so no one is interested in making friends because they will just leave anyways. And those people who where born and raised here? They have their own group of friends they refuse to include people in.
It sucks.
So glad I’m not alone in my feelings of loserdom. It doesn’t help that this time of year, all I want to do is sit on the couch in my sweats next to a fire. And eat food. There’s the food part, too. But I’ll work on it.
I feel your pain. I’m married and finding someone to hang with when I’ve available is a nightmare. @losnsa
I am feeling the same way. I just moved and I have no idea how I’m going to go about making friends. I’m not working yet so I’ve been trying to think of ways to meet people. Crazily enough, joining the gym crossed my mind as well. Let me know how asking your personal trainer out on a date goes, er, I mean, to drinks goes. Haha. Good luck, you aren’t the only one.
HAHA! I think we might be soul mates…Is that awkward? Too soon? I bet you think I’m one of the creepy people on Craigslist. I swear, I’m not.
We are seriously the same person. I actually JUST wrote a piece (not on my blog, for a website), on prepubescent awkwardness.
I live with my boyfriend, Blake, and he is also my best friend / travel buddy / I may have convinced him to let me straighten his shaggy hair once. BUT, I have not motivation to go out on the weekend, get hammered, and wake up Saturday morning wishing I were dead. Is a coffee date or a casual dinner with one, maybe two, glasses of wine too much to ask for? Or do I really have to drink the whole bottle to feel remotely social?
Drink the whole bottle, Carley. Drink. The whole. Bottle.
And if you’re a creepy Craigslist person, that’s okay, because I think you’re just swell!
This tugged at my heart strings! I graduated uni in June, just moved to a new city, my friends are scattered all over the country now and I just don’t know how to meet people without seeming like a desperate, friendless freak… and this city has so much going on that I feel I’m missing out on without a drinking buddy! Since this was written in November, any improvements?? Love your blog by the way, and envy your career! x
Wow, good luck with the transition! That’s a pretty exciting life change, though I’m sure it can be lonely sometimes. I occasionally think that if I were to move to a new city, I wouldn’t be able to take full advantage of it because I’m such a shut-in.
Improvements on my end are minimal (I have had SOME girly time), but these days I’m too busy to feel like I’m missing out on much! So that’s a good thing I guess?
Dude. I know you wrote this several months ago, but you linking to it in your most recent blog post is SO timely for me. I JUST made my first official Real Adult World friend on Friday! We met while both of us were on our laptops writing in the middle of a crowded restaurant, and we watched each others’ stuff whenever the other one had to go to the bathroom. We chatted a bit, made a coffee date for today, and then I spontaneously helped her grab a cabinet off a curb and bring it to her apartment to decorate. She only lives like two blocks away from me! I am still reeling from the serendipity of it all; I keep thinking, “Oh, so THIS is how you make friends when college classes/work/other people don’t magically bring you together”. It’s like platonic dating. I am so proud of myself. I thought I was never going to make new friends on my own ever again. It’s such a hard thing to do in the real world (and it doesn’t help when you move halfway across the country like I did, leaving all of your old friends behind).
Anyway, this is a great post, and I really liked your other one too. Sometimes you just have to giggle and pee = truth.
Yay! I’m so glad to hear a success story in the world of female platonic dating, as you say. (I love that.) I can only imagine how much harder it is to make friends when you’ve moved across the country like that. When that time comes for me, I feel like I’m just going to have to force myself to put myself out there a little more than I normally would. It’s risking making people think you’re a weirdo, but it could also be how you meet your new future best friend. Maybe you’ve met yours!
Ever tried a Meetup? (meetup.com) We moved to Austin two+ years ago, and it has been a solid way to meet people with similar interests. Example: Ukulele meetups. Seriously.
Unfortunately, we’re out in the ‘burbs and not so close to most things, but if you’re decently close to the center of wherever you live, a meetup could be a good way to go.