I’ve graduated from university and am working at my first “big person” job and half the time I still don’t know if I’ve figured out who I am! I have a whole lifetime for that really, so I’m not stressed. I love how personal character is fluid, and how interests and passions can change (or not change) over time.
It’s funny, I did a series of blog interviews on my blog about four years ago and I found an interview I did with one of my best online friends. I sent the link to her in a kind of “Haha, remember this?!” kind of way, a blast from the past sort of thing. Her answers in 2009 would have been roughly the same as they would be today – her passions haven’t changed, and I don’t think they ever will. I don’t think everyone can say the same (I probably couldn’t) but even if her answers had been different, the person she was in 2009 would have affected the person she is today.
Girlfriend, I’m 26 and I still don’t know who I am…nor do I feel like I know how to do all of those “adult” things that other grown-ups are running around doing all the time. You’re way wiser than I was at 18; the fact that I can so fully relate to this post right now is a testament to that. Wonderful writing! =]
Dude, don’t fret it. Really. Something our culture really fails at is preparing our youth for the reality that “adult” isn’t really a thing. We have no real coming of age, nobody teaches us how to do “important” things like how to fill out mortgage paperwork or whatever (and those who seem to have it figured out are mostly adept at faking it). And it’s ok. Identity is fluid and you don’t ever have to “decide” who you are. Undoubtedly it will change anyway – as will passions. and the audience will always exist, but it’s really background noise. I just got all preachy in my old age (30)… but I’m a homeowner (and have no idea what the hell happened – that’s what the real estate agents are for) and I am a decent human and sometimes I eat candy for breakfast . And it’s all fine and normal. I promise.
Agree 100%. Sometimes I wake up, look at my *husband,* pay bills, pay rent, look at houses because we want to finally buy a home..and go “Whoa, does this mean I’m an adult?” And then like 12 hours later I drink Jack & Coke with my dinner while watching Castle for longer than any human being should continuously sit in front of a TV.
The important thing, IMO, is to give yourself freedom. Freedom to do/think/feel exactly what you want- and that includes change. Over the past few years I’ve tried to “find” myself too, and I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that really it’s more about listening to yourself and having the confidence to figure out & go after whatever it is your heart desires at that time.
Knowing “who you are” is a moving target. You’ll never be at a place where you feel like you have all the answers, that everything is figured out, that you completely know yourself, but each year you will learn more – and that’s all that matters. The person you are at 18 is not who you’ll be at 28, nor who you’ll be at 38. Best advice I ever received? Be gentle on yourself.
Thanks to you all for four really nice, insightful comments. I think I’m just learning the distinction between being sure of yourself and knowing who you are – they seem the same on the outside (and are undoubtedly intertwined), but are different.
I’ve graduated from university and am working at my first “big person” job and half the time I still don’t know if I’ve figured out who I am! I have a whole lifetime for that really, so I’m not stressed. I love how personal character is fluid, and how interests and passions can change (or not change) over time.
It’s funny, I did a series of blog interviews on my blog about four years ago and I found an interview I did with one of my best online friends. I sent the link to her in a kind of “Haha, remember this?!” kind of way, a blast from the past sort of thing. Her answers in 2009 would have been roughly the same as they would be today – her passions haven’t changed, and I don’t think they ever will. I don’t think everyone can say the same (I probably couldn’t) but even if her answers had been different, the person she was in 2009 would have affected the person she is today.
Girlfriend, I’m 26 and I still don’t know who I am…nor do I feel like I know how to do all of those “adult” things that other grown-ups are running around doing all the time. You’re way wiser than I was at 18; the fact that I can so fully relate to this post right now is a testament to that. Wonderful writing! =]
Dude, don’t fret it. Really. Something our culture really fails at is preparing our youth for the reality that “adult” isn’t really a thing. We have no real coming of age, nobody teaches us how to do “important” things like how to fill out mortgage paperwork or whatever (and those who seem to have it figured out are mostly adept at faking it). And it’s ok. Identity is fluid and you don’t ever have to “decide” who you are. Undoubtedly it will change anyway – as will passions. and the audience will always exist, but it’s really background noise. I just got all preachy in my old age (30)… but I’m a homeowner (and have no idea what the hell happened – that’s what the real estate agents are for) and I am a decent human and sometimes I eat candy for breakfast . And it’s all fine and normal. I promise.
Agree 100%. Sometimes I wake up, look at my *husband,* pay bills, pay rent, look at houses because we want to finally buy a home..and go “Whoa, does this mean I’m an adult?” And then like 12 hours later I drink Jack & Coke with my dinner while watching Castle for longer than any human being should continuously sit in front of a TV.
The important thing, IMO, is to give yourself freedom. Freedom to do/think/feel exactly what you want- and that includes change. Over the past few years I’ve tried to “find” myself too, and I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that really it’s more about listening to yourself and having the confidence to figure out & go after whatever it is your heart desires at that time.
Knowing “who you are” is a moving target. You’ll never be at a place where you feel like you have all the answers, that everything is figured out, that you completely know yourself, but each year you will learn more – and that’s all that matters. The person you are at 18 is not who you’ll be at 28, nor who you’ll be at 38. Best advice I ever received? Be gentle on yourself.