Seismic shift (and a birthday gift)

Today, October 17th, at 10:17 a.m., more than 20 million people worldwide are participating in what is expected to be the world’s largest earthquake drill. They say one of the safest places inside the home you can be during an earthquake is in bed (as long as there’s not a heavy, spiky light fixture above you), and that’s precisely where I’ll be at 10:17 on the morning of my birthday—preferably eating waffles while I’m there. Hey, it’s my day off from classes, and I am milking it.

Yes, today is my 24th birthday (and the 24th anniversary of the catastrophic 1989 San Francisco earthquake). And in the midst of an insane first semester of graduate school, I’m taking the time to celebrate myself by spending part of today at the beach—a first for this October baby!—and satisfying the sushi craving I’ve had for the past month. A couple days ago, the birthday cards started arriving in the mail. I’ve always loved and appreciated birthday cards, but they mean even more this first year away from home and family. Birthdays always have me feeling mixed emotions, but this year especially with all the recent major changes in my life. Luckily, I’ve got John by my side and a city I’m coming to love to make it a special one.

And I have a feeling I do have a truly special and memorable year ahead of me. While 23 was defined by anticipation, anxiety, uncertainty, and the biggest decisions (and adventures!) of my life to date, I’m thinking 24 will be a year of exploration, learning curves, new faces, some serious productivity… and, well, a lot more anxiety and uncertainty. That seems to be a constant I don’t see going away any time soon. But I’m in my mid-20s now, so I got this shit. That’s what I’m telling myself, so just go with it.

So as they say in the earthquake drills—drop, cover, and hold on. It’s going to be a wild year.

 

Seismic shift (and a birthday gift)

Today, October 17th, at 10:17 a.m., more than 20 million people worldwide are participating in what is expected to be the world’s largest earthquake drill. They say one of the safest places inside the home you can be during an earthquake is in bed (as long as there’s not a heavy, spiky light fixture above you), and that’s precisely where I’ll be at 10:17 on the morning of my birthday—preferably eating waffles while I’m there. Hey, it’s my day off from classes, and I am milking it.

Yes, today is my 24th birthday (and the 24th anniversary of the catastrophic 1989 San Francisco earthquake). And in the midst of an insane first semester of graduate school, I’m taking the time to celebrate myself by spending part of today at the beach—a first for this October baby!—and satisfying the sushi craving I’ve had for the past month. A couple days ago, the birthday cards started arriving in the mail. I’ve always loved and appreciated birthday cards, but they mean even more this first year away from home and family. Birthdays always have me feeling mixed emotions, but this year especially with all the recent major changes in my life. Luckily, I’ve got John by my side and a city I’m coming to love to make it a special and one.

And I have a feeling I do have a truly special and memorable year ahead of me. While 23 was defined by anticipation, anxiety, uncertainty, and the biggest decisions (and adventures!) of my life to date, I’m thinking 24 will be a year of exploration, learning curves, new faces, some serious productivity… and, well, a lot more anxiety and uncertainty. That seems to be a constant I don’t see going away any time soon. But I’m in my mid-20s now, so I got this shit. That’s what I’m telling myself, so just go with it.

So as they say in the earthquake drills—drop, cover, and hold on. It’s going to be a wild year.

 

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7 ways to be a decent, more evolved & just overall better person

You’re a grown-up in a first-world country who’s self-aware enough to know you can always be improving. In case you need some inspiration, here are a handful of ways you can do just that.

Go out of your way to help someone. It takes so, so little to earn a few karma points by helping someone out. Whether it’s by holding the door extra long for a stranger overloaded with bags, patiently showing your co-worker how to do something on the computer (even if it’s so obviously simple to you), or making dinner for a friend or family member who’s having a hard time… you get the idea. It feels good—for you and them. Restore someone’s faith in humanity and feel their gratitude wash over you.

Get out of your comfort zone. Go to a yoga class alone. Figure out the public transportation system. Apply to a job you’re not confident about getting. Try cooking a vegetarian dish. The worst that can happen is you burn perfectly good tempeh or end up on the wrong side of town. Most likely, though, you’ll have new talent, knowledge, or experiences you’ll be proud of—and one less thing to be afraid of.

Show up when you say you’re going to show up. I have been soooo guilty of doing just the exact opposite on multiple occasions. It happens. Things come up, situations change, or you just plain don’t feel like doing something. But really, if you say you’re going to be somewhere, for the love of cheesecake, be there. It ruins your credibility when you don’t, and it’s irritating to everyone else. (Even those nice folks who say, “Don’t worry about it!”) If you know you’re likely to flake and bail, don’t say you’ll go in the first place. It’s not that hard to say no, and you won’t have that icky, guilty feeling you get when you hide behind the “sorrrryyyy” text message.

Call people out on their shit…nicely. It might seem to go against the message behind this post, but it’s especially important to speak up if someone else is causing harm to something or someone else. Have you ever witnessed a group of people not helping an elderly person who’s struggling to cross the street with bags of groceries? It’s similarly bad when no one points out that someone’s being a brat. Don’t let someone be a bully just because everyone else in their life is afraid to tell them off. It’s likely others who aren’t speaking up will be thankful for it.

Keep learning. Back when I was sending out applications for grad school, I promised myself that if I didn’t get in anywhere, I’d take some online courses or pick up a new hobby instead. I got into grad school, so now I’m working on perfecting my craft in a structured environment. But even after I’m done with school for good, I won’t consider my education finished—ever. There are just too many good books waiting to be read. Ask more questions. Do more listening. It’s amazing what you’ll learn when you’re receptive to new information and ideas.

Take better care of yourself. You get one life in one body. So make it a long one. Running on fumes or living a sedentary lifestyle ain’t healthy, and if you don’t take care of your body, how can you expect to excel in other ways? Get plenty of exercise, fresh air, and sleep on a regular basis. Make the extra effort to eat well, too. Respect yourself enough not to make any excuses on this one.

Learn to let go. You ever meet a sad, bitter, angry old person? They didn’t become that way overnight. They spent their whole life a sad, bitter, angry person, and they let it consume and define them. If you don’t want to be like that in 40 years, don’t be like that now. Let go of the things that have hurt you. Some people will treat you unfairly. Some people will never apologize for it. And sometimes life will just be a big old bitch to really good people. Life is random that way. It’s up to you how you handle it. Your aura will be a pretty color if you handle it gracefully.

What have you done lately to be a better person? Go on. Talk yourself up in the comments.

Endless summer soundtrack

dusk

It’s mid-September in Los Angeles, but I’d be oblivious to the impending official end of summer if it weren’t for the sky that darkens just a little earlier each day and the Facebook posts from everyone back home about the fall-like weather (and subsequent pumpkin spice lattes). Usually by this time of year, my tan has already faded, and I’m wishing for just a few extra weeks of a sweaty Maryland summer. I always did have just a touch of seasonal depression, no matter how much I enjoyed football, beef stew, and fall fashion.

But this September, I’m not putting away the sundresses. I’m as tan as I would be if I spent a solid week at the beach. And even being very much in back-to-school mode, I don’t have the same blues I’ve always associated with it. It truly feels like the Endless Summer.

That’s not to say that life is perfect in Los Angeles. Every day has its own struggles. Being away from family isn’t easy, but at least I got to watch my sister open presents on her 12th birthday via FaceTime. The continuous search for employment can be a serious source of anxiety at times, but I know we’ll find work eventually; in the meantime, I’m just happy to be spending so much time with John. Whenever petty worries about cars, phones, or bills arise, some tragic news story pops up and gives us a heavy dose of perspective. By comparison, we’re living the dream. And in a lot of ways, we really are.

The following playlist is a culmination of memories and feelings associated with this summer of anticipation, exploration, and arrival. Most of these songs played through the car speakers more than once as we leisurely made our way across the country, and they’ll forever be ingrained in my mind as the soundtrack of an epic, endless summer.

So here’s to bathing suits, gas money, sunglasses, water jugs, pit stops, motel sheets, coffee shops, photo ops, Google maps, guitar pics, campfires, bike rides, time zones, calls home, L.A. traffic, and living to tell the tale. And wherever you are, may your summer be as endless as mine.

Tracklist: John Mancini Band – Shangri-la | Allah Las – Busman’s Holiday | The Band – Don’t Do It |Charles Bradley – Why Is It So Hard | Neil Young – Cinnamon Girl | Sam Phillips – Signal | White Denim – Burnished | Dire Straits – Wild West End

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No such thing as certainty

tinyplanet

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my last day at my job before I move to L.A. (Less than three weeks away!) In a couple of days, I’ll receive my last full-time paycheck—a bittersweet reminder of the certainty and stability I’m giving up in exchange for adventure and dream fulfillment.

Tomorrow, I will still have a job. The next day, I won’t. That will be my certainty. (That, and sweatpants. Every day.)

The thing about certainty is that it’s often just a very comforting illusion. It’s the product of believing that what we have today will still be around tomorrow and taking whatever that is for granted. If that’s the case, how can a job, a paycheck, or stability be certain? Our perspectives on these things are different than they once were in this still-struggling economy, of course, but sometimes it takes a drastic change—in this case, my own volition to move—to realize none of it was ever certain anyway. I was just lucky.

If there’s ever a time to be uncertain, this is it. It’s like what people keep telling me: “It’s great you’re moving cross-country. Now’s the time to do it.” While I’d like to think I’ll always be the adventurous type, able to pick up and go follow my dream, I don’t disagree with the implication behind those comments. Now is the time. It’s why we’re doing it. While age isn’t a factor for everyone, in general, the older we get and the more rooted we become, the harder it is to make a bold move. There’s no guaranteeing that the future will be a more convenient time. Life doesn’t care about convenience. (The fact that I’m getting my wisdom teeth out one week before we leave is proof of that.)

So what do I know? I know that I can be certain of this moment and my intentions for the next. That’s about it.

I remember the day I quit my old restaurant gig hoping it would be my last. It probably wasn’t my last. I might actually have to master the art of balancing a large tray, once and for all, if I want to pay rent while attending school full-time. Or maybe I’ll be a dog walker. Getting paid to hang out with dogs sounds awesome, except for the poop part. Or maybe there’ll be the perfect writing opportunity, or maybe a combination of all of the above.

I’m open to the possibilities. I am so ready for a change, no matter how scary. Of that, I am certain.