[Witty Title Here]

Where it’s going & where it’s been

September 20, 2015 by Cassie

It’s been quiet in this space, but so much has been going on behind the scenes.

Hey guys, remember me? I’m the blogger who moved across the country to pursue a dream. That dream has taken on varying forms over the years, but it’s always boiled down to one thing: my need to write.

Which is why I’m bringing Witty Title Here back, with new focus and purpose. Which I’ll get to shortly.

But first, a (very brief) update on the past few months of my life:

Back in February, when this blog went dark, I began a full-time job in marketing for a tech startup with some awesome people. I was in my final semester of grad school at the time and commuting a lot, all of which made for a very difficult balancing act. For my sanity, I made the decision to put WTH on the back burner indefinitely, though I had no idea that would end up being half a year.

After several intense months, I finished school (forever!), but then life got even crazier—my boyfriend John got into grad school in San Francisco. So we decided to make our second big move in two years by saying goodbye, for now, to Los Angeles. We moved to the Bay Area in July, and I’ve been working from home as a freelance writer ever since. The change of pace has been refreshing. I’m actually cooking and exercising regularly again!

I also have the headspace to dedicate to Witty Title Here again, though it won’t be the same as it was before.

The longer I kept the blogging world at arm’s length, the less inclined I felt to return to my broad lifestyle focus from before. I knew that if I came back to blogging, I needed something I was endlessly passionate about to keep me writing even—and especially—when it was hard.

Which is why I’m making Witty Title Here a community for young female writers who give a damn.

I want to provide the inspiration, resource and platform I would’ve loved at 15 (or 18 or 21), when I was still finding my voice as a budding writer, feminist and young woman. In the coming weeks, I’ll be making changes around the site to reflect that. I’m going against my nature and relaunching before everything’s perfect because I don’t want to put off blogging any longer. Perfection can wait, but for me, writing cannot. Turns out the two are not mutually exclusive.

For those of you who have kept Witty Title Here in their feeds all this time (wittingly or unwittingly—ha!), thank you. I’ve missed you! And I hope you’ll continue to follow along as the blog takes a new direction. While the vision for WTH is aimed primarily toward helping young female writers, I think a lot of what will resonate with that audience will resonate with any writer. I’m looking forward to finding out.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. I can’t wait to show you what’s in store next.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Keep your goals to yourself

February 2, 2015 by Cassie

This time last month, the blogosphere was buzzing with talk of goals for the New Year.

Some big. Others small. A few doomed to fail because people’s hearts weren’t in it, but they felt the need to join in. For so many, most of these goals have already fizzled out from a lack of discipline, direction or simply giving enough of a damn. But I suspect many of us have something in mind that won’t fizzle out quite so easily. We have the kinds of goals that speak to us on the gut level, even if we don’t quite know how to talk back yet.

And I’m here to tell you, if you’ve got one of those big, scary, possibly life-altering goals that—even after the hype of the New Year is long gone—you really want to see fulfilled this year, keep it to yourself.

I get it—you want support. You need accountability. And yeah, putting it in writing and broadcasting it to the world makes it feel real.

But you know what else feels real? Quietly putting in the work. Every single day. Not seeking validation from people with pesky little opinions about what it is you’re trying to accomplish or whether you’re cut out for it. You know what sharing your goals with the world really is? A distraction. A subconscious attempt at seeking permission and praise. A mind trick that makes you feel as if you’ve already taken the most difficult step by admitting your plans when in fact the hardest part is getting started—and not quitting when you get stuck.

You’d think putting it out there will hold you accountable—or at the very least, guilt you into following through on your proclamation because you can’t take it back. But the world doesn’t hold you accountable for anything, except maybe taxes. If it’s something you truly want, you don’t need an audience to get motivated. You need a plan of attack. And when that plan gets shot to hell (even the best-laid plans can fall apart when they’re passion-driven), you need to decide to keep hacking away regardless.

I’ll make one concession, because we could all use someone to tell us we’re not batshit insane for chasing the dream. One person: a friend, a partner, a coach or mentor, someone whose advice you trust and who will remind you why you got into this mess when you’re knee-deep in self-doubt. One person who gets what it is you’re after is way more valuable than a noisy crowd of strangers.

All the rest? It’s on you.

Filed Under: Life, Thoughts on Life Tagged With: goal-setting, goals

Interweb Finds: the most scenic national parks, a portrait of debt & more

January 27, 2015 by Cassie

Happy Tuesday, friends!

(And to those of you buried under what, as of Monday evening, is supposed to be an epic snowfall, happy stay-the-hell-home day, am I right? Let me know if you want a postcard from SoCal.)

I’m back in the the swing of things at school for my last semester EVER, working on my freelancing (and job-hunting) game and reading a LOT. Right now, I’m reading three books simultaneously, and over the weekend I plowed through Stephen King’s On Writing. I love writing, but when I read a lot, I love writing even more. Kinda cool how that works, huh?

Anyway! As promised, your monthly interweb finds:

A round-up of the most scenic national parks. Uh, I need to get on the road. I’ve only visited three (and driven through two) out of 25!

Related: scenic cabins to make you hate winter less. (I’m really thinking of you, East Coast!)

If you’re like me and psyched that Friends is on Netflix but don’t want to watch the entire series through (again), here’s a handy list of the best episodes.

A fascinating (and important) read: What Ruth Bader Ginsburg Taught Me About Being a Stay-at-Home Dad.

“[M]en appear to be just as dissatisfied with the stickiness of gender-based norms as women: Nearly half of fathers report dissatisfaction with the amount of time that they are able to spend with their children—twice the rate of mothers who say the same. The gender-equality debate too often ignores this half of the equation. When home is mentioned at all, the emphasis is usually on equalizing burdens—not equalizing the opportunity for men, as well as women, to be there.”

On a similar note, can we solve our childcare problem?

“Conservative women have long charged feminists with hypocrisy for employing other women at low wages as they make headway in corporate America. […] I don’t think hiring a nanny is hypocritical, but I do think that a failure to acknowledge how another woman’s hard work enables your own is a major feminist blind spot.”

The Debt Project is a photo series and catalyst for an honest conversation about the way debt cripples people all across America. We talk about debt as a national problem often, but very rarely do we open up about our own struggles with debt. Do you agree?

A beautiful reminder for when you’re having a shitty day: today is not over yet.

$837/month for a one-bedroom apartment blocks from the beach is unheard of in Santa Monica. When can I move in?

Vitriolic comment section aside (seriously, wtf is all the hate about?) I love these vintage photos of hippie communes.

Hilarious and accurate: Disney princesses with realistic hair.

How to book the cheapest flight possible anywhere.

That’s all the web finds for this month. Stay warm, and read a good book if you have the day off! What’s on your reading list?

Filed Under: Interweb Finds

Feminist to Follow: Seema from The Subtle Hipster

January 23, 2015 by Cassie

This month’s Feminist to Follow has made feminism and public health her life’s work.

Seema Bhakta is not only a storyteller and photojournalist, but a researcher and advocate for various organizations and nonprofits that support and promote women’s well-being, including MCH in Action, a student organization centered on maternal, childbirth, sexual and reproductive health.

Seema is the blogger behind The Subtle Hipster, where, in addition to highlighting news in feminism, she writes about books, adventure, food and more. Below, she shares a thoughtful essay on why blogging about feminism is important to her. Read on!

Blogging about feminism is important to me because I believe the movement is not only about equal opportunities for women, but increasing the support of diversity, reducing stigma and fighting for the rights of everyone discriminated based on their ethnicity, sexual orientation or gender identity.

Just like everything else, I don’t think feminism is a black or white topic. It’s a spectrum and there are definitely a lot of gray areas. I’ve read articles and tweets from people who say they don’t think of themselves as feminists because they never faced inequalities in life or work. There are also the misguided folks who say, “I’m not a feminist because I don’t hate men.” Out of respect, we are all entitled to our own opinions but reality is, these stereotypes don’t touch the true meaning of feminism.

As I look back on my life, growing up in a very liberal state but in a more conservative community, I never expressed my own opinions or realized that I even had any. I always thought that these fights are not mine, that I had nothing to worry about. Ignorance, perhaps. I grew up thinking I was not a feminist because like others I never faced (or realized) the discrimination. But now that I am older and wiser, I realize that the challenges women face is universal regardless of whether I have experienced it or not. Even if I feel that I have not had to face unequal opportunities, being a feminist should mean that as a woman, I support other women in their fight for equality.

I read Yes, Please last month and loved this quote from Amy Poehler: “Good for her, not for me.” When I was in graduate school, there would be debates about what is right versus what is wrong for women in childbirth. This really frustrated me. You can give me all the data about healthy birth practices, parenting methods and breastfeeding, but at the end of the day it is the individual’s choice about what is right for them. (I recommend checking this photo campaign out, End the Mommy Wars.)

My maternal and reproductive interests broadened when I read a book in the summer called Golden Boy. It’s about an intersex adolescent who begins to question their sexuality, identity, and how to keep secrets after an incident with a childhood friend. I have always been an LGBT ally, but as the world opens up slowly about being intersex, asexual, and trans, feminism does not just benefit cis women, but anyone who struggles because of their gender and sexual identity.

Not only do gender and sexual identity play a vital role in feminism, but race and ethnicity do, too. Racism is a feminist issue, and so is social justice. Earlier this week, we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so I want to end with this quote:

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you want to read more from Seema, check out her blog, The Subtle Hipster, and follow her on Twitter. Here are some recent highlights from her blog:

Reflection on Sex and Gender | The A-Word, Stigma & Storytelling | No More: Together We Can End Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

Check out other Feminists to Follow here.

Do you have any favorite feminist bloggers?

Filed Under: Featured Writers, Feminism, Feminist to Follow, People Tagged With: bloggers, feminism, feminist to follow, seema bhakta, the subtle hipster

15 things you should never feel guilty about

January 20, 2015 by Cassie

Taking a sick day.

Staying in your pajamas until noon.

Not checking everything off your to-do list.

Changing your mind—for the sake of your heart.

Letting go of commitments that drain you—commitments that could be fulfilled by someone else.

Quitting that job you hate.

Ending a relationship that doesn’t light you up.

Not mourning the way people expect.

Giving the honest opinion you were asked for.

Letting go of friendships that give you no pleasure.

Going back to work after having a baby.

Eating. Anything.

Investing money in something that gives you pleasure—whether it’s a hobby, your education or that one pair of jeans that make you feel really, really good.

Feeling totally, completely and giddily happy.

All the embarrassing, questionable, not-totally-upstanding things you did years ago.

If you screwed up and offended someone or acted selfishly recently—apologize. If your privilege or good fortune is making you feel uncomfortable—lend your work or your words to a worthy cause. And if you’re stuck in a cycle of destruction, self-indulgence or tomfoolery—take the first step to end the cycle.

Everything else? In the words of Taylor Swift (yeah, I just went there)—shake it off.

P.S. You are enough | Confessions

Filed Under: Life, Thoughts on Life Tagged With: 15 things you should never feel guilty about, guilt, shake it off

NPR’s Invisibilia & the power of thought

January 16, 2015 by Cassie

Yesterday I was consumed by my thoughts—and not the good kind.

By 6 p.m. I felt so blah that all I wanted to do was go lie down and wallow in self-pity. (Productive, right?)

But then I remembered I’d been wanting to check out NPR’s newest podcast, Invisibilia, and decided if I was going to go hang out in bed, I might as well learn something. The first episode couldn’t have been more appropriate for my crappy mood. It was all about the power of our thoughts—particularly the negative ones—and how they affect us.

Invisibilia is Latin for “all the invisible things,” which is exactly what this podcast is about: the intangible forces that shape who we are and how we walk through life. Co-hosted by Lulu Miller and Alix Spiegel, the first episode kicked off with responses from dozens of strangers on the street about what they were just thinking. And if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking something totally bizarre, self-destructive or morbid, you might find comfort in knowing just how common that really is.

Anyone who’s ever been consumed by dark thoughts has wondered, “Why can’t I stop thinking this way? What’s wrong with me?” And this first episode of Invisibilia shed some light on that by explaining three phases in the history of psychotherapy:

There’s the traditional Freudian thinking, which is that all of our thoughts have meaning and are tied to some deeper part of us. Which can be helpful if you never made a connection between a recurring thought and something from your past. But if there’s no obvious link, it can only exacerbate the “what’s wrong with me?” kind of thinking. (Which is what happened to one man profiled in the podcast when he began having seriously violent thoughts out of nowhere.)

Then cognitive behavioral therapy began to displace Freudian therapy by directly challenging negative thoughts—not accepting them at face value or taking them so seriously. Therapists who use this method don’t necessarily believe our thoughts are linked to who we are, and for anyone who is especially hard on themselves, this way of thinking can be a huge relief.

Mindful meditation is the most recent form of therapy of all. Instead of challenging negative thoughts, those who practice mindful meditation acknowledge the thoughts but don’t engage them. The idea is not to fight the bad thoughts but to simply let them float away.

It’s easy to see why, except for certain cases, Freudian therapy has slowly been replaced over time. Maybe those of us who are occasionally tortured by our thoughts place too much emphasis on them in the first place. Cognitive behavior therapy seems like a good and direct approach to addressing thoughts that are near the point of all-consuming, while mindful meditation seems like good practice to build into our everyday lives. After all, we can’t block out all the bad images that enter our minds, but we can decide to let them go.

Whether you’re a podcast listener or not (and until recently, I wasn’t), I highly recommend checking out Invisibilia. Not only does it cover the above, but it weaves in storytelling that’s totally addictive. My occasionally recurring sad thoughts were put into perspective big time when I learned the story of Martin Pistorius, a man who was trapped inside his own body for more than a dozen years and had only his thoughts to keep him company—or drive him to the brink of insanity. Pistorius—who went on to attend school for computer science, start a web design company and get married—wrote a book that I will be checking out very soon. And you can be sure I’m tuning in to the next episode of Invisibilia.

Have you listened to Invisibilia? What are some of you other favorite podcasts? (I’m looking for recommendations!)

Filed Under: Arts & Culture Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy, Freudian, Invisibilia, Martin Pistorius, mindful meditation, negative thoughts, NPR, podcast, therapy